The Masseuse
Season 5, Episode 9 — 77 scenes
- "They're never disturbed by the sounds of murdering."
- "And all these women that always fall in love with the killer."
- "I don't even know who you are anymore.""
- "JERRY [ON PHONE]: <i>Eight years</i> <i>isn't such a long streak.</i>"
- "He just has the same name as one of the worst serial killers"
- "We just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop."
- "Look, this is my boyfriend we're talking about!"
- "and he hasn't thrown up in eight years."
- "You can't ask a person to change their name."
- "Well, you know why Rifkin was a serial killer?"
- "You know, Joel and I have an extra ticket to the Giants game."
- "Hey, did you hear George got back with Karen?"
- "George likes them. He feels it's a good personality showcase."
- "No. How many times do I have to go out with her,"
- "So I said to her, "Can I ask you a question?"
- "Well, nothing. I didn't actually say that."
- "You know, it's like you never see a really attractive woman"
- "Darling, the tea is getting a little cold, sweetheart."
- "I'm gonna call you about that massage."
- "So, what's the deal with your friend, George?"
- "I don't know how you can hang out with that guy."
- "What do you think I'm doing?"
- "'Cause I thought I picked up a little something."
- "The second time I sent the noodles back..."
- "George, instead of talking about this,"
- "Massaging your neck."
- "There are a lot of players named Deion these days."
- "And I decided I was gonna change my name,"
- "Okay then, let's see, let's see, what do we got?"
- "Elaine, what is going on?"
- "I tried putting her hands there. She pulls it away immediately."
- "So, uh, we had a good time, huh, the four of us."
- "Look, it's not like you're gonna be spending"
- "What were her exact--? "I don't like him.""
- "But believe me, if she's getting traffic tickets,"
- "Oh, no. That was the dry heaves."
- "I was giving Kramer a massage."
- "I gotta run. I have an appointment downtown."
- "Cabs are crashing into themselves to just pick me up."
- "Feminists aside, I know women like the door-holding."
- "with this New Age music played over ocean sounds."
- "All right, now, you listen, and you listen good!"
- "Because if I can't get one, you're not getting one!"
- "Don't you ever talk about her like that!"
- "ANNOUNCER: <i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>"
- "Yeah, I wonder where your friend Kramer is."
- "Uh, yeah, a ticket for Kramer?"
- "Well, I can't give it to you, then."
- "<i>Would Joel Rifkin report</i> <i>to the stadium office.</i>"
- "<i>Joel Rifkin, telephone.</i>"
- "You know those seats. They're very unforgiving."
- "Well, I never even caught a foul ball at a baseball game."
- "I'm getting one! No ifs, ands or buts."
- "So I lugged that table, that big, heavy massage table,"
- "It's only courteous that we should try and like each other."
- "Well, listen, I just want you to know,"
- "that I was more than willing to stick it out with Joel Rifkin."
- "Okay, and if somebody objects, you can just veto it."
- "I got to tell you, I have a bad association"
- "and after every sip, he would go, "Ahh!""
- "I was running late and I didn't have a chance"
- "That's a hell of a piece of equipment."
- "So where do you want to go?"
- "Come on. I know it's something you want to do."
- "I just know, if I could spend some time alone with her..."
- "Who is more important to you, her or me?"
- "but I just can't stand when someone doesn't like me."
- "Ellis? You might as well go with Alex."
- "likes to go shopping with his mother."
- "Listen, I massage who I want when I want."
- "I'm getting out of here."
- "Jerry, could you excuse us for a few minutes, please?"
- "you can say in front of me."
- "She just dislikes me so much..."
- "I wouldn't push for the massage."
- "I don't really like the idea of getting a professional massage."
- "You want to go, "Excuse me. I think you missed a spot.""
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