The Masseuse

Season 5, Episode 9 — 77 scenes

• "They're never disturbed by the sounds of murdering."
• "And all these women that always fall in love with the killer."
• "I don't even know who you are anymore.""
• "JERRY [ON PHONE]: <i>Eight years</i> <i>isn't such a long streak.</i>"
• "He just has the same name as one of the worst serial killers"
• "We just saw your boyfriend at a bus stop."
• "Look, this is my boyfriend we're talking about!"
• "and he hasn't thrown up in eight years."
• "You can't ask a person to change their name."
• "Well, you know why Rifkin was a serial killer?"
• "You know, Joel and I have an extra ticket to the Giants game."
• "Hey, did you hear George got back with Karen?"
• "George likes them. He feels it's a good personality showcase."
• "No. How many times do I have to go out with her,"
• "So I said to her, "Can I ask you a question?"
• "Well, nothing. I didn't actually say that."
• "You know, it's like you never see a really attractive woman"
• "Darling, the tea is getting a little cold, sweetheart."
• "I'm gonna call you about that massage."
• "So, what's the deal with your friend, George?"
• "I don't know how you can hang out with that guy."
• "What do you think I'm doing?"
• "'Cause I thought I picked up a little something."
• "The second time I sent the noodles back..."
• "George, instead of talking about this,"
• "Massaging your neck."
• "There are a lot of players named Deion these days."
• "And I decided I was gonna change my name,"
• "Okay then, let's see, let's see, what do we got?"
• "Elaine, what is going on?"
• "I tried putting her hands there. She pulls it away immediately."
• "So, uh, we had a good time, huh, the four of us."
• "Look, it's not like you're gonna be spending"
• "What were her exact--? "I don't like him.""
• "But believe me, if she's getting traffic tickets,"
• "Oh, no. That was the dry heaves."
• "I was giving Kramer a massage."
• "I gotta run. I have an appointment downtown."
• "Cabs are crashing into themselves to just pick me up."
• "Feminists aside, I know women like the door-holding."
• "with this New Age music played over ocean sounds."
• "All right, now, you listen, and you listen good!"
• "Because if I can't get one, you're not getting one!"
• "Don't you ever talk about her like that!"
• "ANNOUNCER: <i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>"
• "Yeah, I wonder where your friend Kramer is."
• "Uh, yeah, a ticket for Kramer?"
• "Well, I can't give it to you, then."
• "<i>Would Joel Rifkin report</i> <i>to the stadium office.</i>"
• "<i>Joel Rifkin, telephone.</i>"
• "You know those seats. They're very unforgiving."
• "Well, I never even caught a foul ball at a baseball game."
• "I'm getting one! No ifs, ands or buts."
• "So I lugged that table, that big, heavy massage table,"
• "It's only courteous that we should try and like each other."
• "Well, listen, I just want you to know,"
• "that I was more than willing to stick it out with Joel Rifkin."
• "Okay, and if somebody objects, you can just veto it."
• "I got to tell you, I have a bad association"
• "and after every sip, he would go, "Ahh!""
• "I was running late and I didn't have a chance"
• "That's a hell of a piece of equipment."
• "So where do you want to go?"
• "Come on. I know it's something you want to do."
• "I just know, if I could spend some time alone with her..."
• "Who is more important to you, her or me?"
• "but I just can't stand when someone doesn't like me."
• "Ellis? You might as well go with Alex."
• "likes to go shopping with his mother."
• "Listen, I massage who I want when I want."
• "I'm getting out of here."
• "Jerry, could you excuse us for a few minutes, please?"
• "you can say in front of me."
• "She just dislikes me so much..."
• "I wouldn't push for the massage."
• "I don't really like the idea of getting a professional massage."
• "You want to go, "Excuse me. I think you missed a spot.""