The Phone Message

Season 2, Episode 4 — 76 scenes

• "Some people have a little too much fun on television."
• "Have you ever been standing there and you're watching TV"
• "they're spiking volleyballs, jet skiing, girls in bikinis..."
• "When women smile at me, I don't know what it means."
• "when Bentsen gave him that Kennedy line?"
• "And to cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple,"
• "I don't get the enthusiastic hi, I'm out of there."
• "and I don't like to go too long before I ask them out."
• "You don't loiter around in front of the teller"
• "because instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear."
• "Irish, Scottish, what's the difference, lassie?"
• "Would you like to come upstairs for some coffee?"
• "Yeah, take it easy."
• "I'd invite you up, but the place is being painted."
• "I think if one's going to kill oneself,"
• "You want to have dinner?"
• "I don't feel comfortable in them."
• "You mean the one where the guys are all standing around,"
• "and maybe even be part of a real bull session."
• "Even if somehow, somewhere, men actually talked like that,"
• "I mean, all those quick shots of the pants."
• "Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?""
• "looking at me like this for the rest of my life?""
• "because he didn't keep his bathroom clean enough."
• "People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live."
• "She thinks you're a guy that doesn't like coffee."
• ""Keep it up. Don't blow it. You're doing great.""
• ""Uh, no, I don't drink coffee late at night. Ha, ha, ha.""
• "They want a take-charge guy. A colonel. A Kaiser. A czar."
• ""they never get out of the way of ambulances anymore?"
• ""'Well, sorry, buddy, you should've thought of that"
• "All right, I gotta make a call. Everybody out, come on."
• "It's enough already with the apples."
• "CAROL'S VOICE: <i>Hi, it's Carol.</i> <i>I'll get back to you.</i>"
• "That's up to you, you know. Whatever you want to do."
• "I gave her an ultimatum, and there's nothing I can do."
• "After one date, you try and improvise on a machine?"
• "he went upstairs with him and switched the tape."
• "She'll call you back. You're overreacting."
• "I have never seen one episode of<i> I Love Lucy</i> in my life."
• "Well, I just wanted to talk to him for a minute,"
• "No, he would never actually tell me anything like that."
• "So you go around telling your friends I'm not hip"
• "I couldn't believe you liked that commercial."
• "Boy, I'll bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there."
• "[IMITATES ANNOUNCER] One-hundred percent cotton Dockers."
• "Don't worry about it. It wasn't working anyway."
• "Okay, so you remember I made the initial call Sunday."
• ""and then you don't call me back for four days?"
• "I can't believe she never called you back."
• "She didn't know if I was trying to get in touch with her."
• "She's supposed to call me as soon as she gets home."
• "But you know as soon as she gets in the apartment,"
• "I don't even know how to work those stupid machines."
• "And who makes the switch?"
• "I think I may be in love with this woman."
• "Did you call me a wuss?"
• "Now, what if she somehow gets away from you"
• "The signal is... I'll call out "Tippy toe!""
• "You don't like tippy toe?"
• "<i>♪ How do you solve</i> <i>a problem like Maria? ♪</i>"
• "<i>♪ And the lemon flower</i> <i>Is sweet... ♪</i>"
• "Just walk away! It's off. Cancel everything! Go!"
• "and that way, we could give Jerry a ride home."
• "I'll just give my bag to the doorman."
• "Well, they have a phone."
• "He has this phobia about public toilets."
• "The bathroom's down the hall to the right."
• "Well, let me just check my messages, and we'll go."
• "if you wouldn't mind, and then we'll talk to Jerry."
• "Your father wears sneakers in the pool?"
• "Don't you find that strange?"
• "Well, I'll just check my machine and we'll go."
• "After I talked to you today, my neighbor called me"
• "I also have a cordless phone, but I don't like that as much,"
• ""You can't talk to me like that!" Bang! You know."