The Seinfeld Chronicles

Season 1, Episode 1 — 80 scenes

• "Do you know what this is all about? Why we're here?"
• "<i>trying to find us.</i> <i>They don't know where we are.</i>"
• "<i>Once you're out,</i> <i>you wanna get back.</i>"
• "it's my feeling, you've gotta go."
• "JERRY: See that? To me, that button's in the worst possible spot."
• "what you knew and when you knew it."
• "Well, there's this, uh, woman who might be coming in."
• "I told you about Laura, the girl I met in Michigan."
• "You know, talking with her, it was like talking with you,"
• "Yeah. Yeah. So, you know she called"
• "I hate to tell you. You're not gonna see this woman."
• "What do I know? Maybe she wanted to be polite."
• "Oh, I get it. This is about the button."
• "Does this woman intend to spend time with me?"
• "I'd have to say, uh...no."
• "Now, come with me. I gotta get my stuff out of the dryer."
• "Don't worry. I gave him a little caffeine."
• "This is the dullest moment I've ever experienced."
• "He's got detergents, sprays, fabric softener."
• "I can't believe-- We already discussed this."
• "You don't even know what hotel she's staying at."
• "I don't even know where she's staying."
• "It knows what it's doing. Just let it finish."
• "You not gonna die again. You're already dead."
• "How could she not tell me where she was staying?"
• "The washing machine is the nightclub of clothes."
• "The dryer is their only chance to escape, and they all know it."
• "He hopes you don't see him, then he goes down the road."
• "You ought to get the harpoon out of your chest first."
• "If you know what happened in the Met game,"
• "Kessler, it's a tape. I taped the game."
• "I avoided human contact all night to watch this."
• "I-I don't know."
• "Well, what happened in the game, anyway?"
• "You haven't been out of the building in 10 years."
• "You done with this?"
• "I thought I wasn't allowed to be in here this weekend."
• "You know that I was almost a lawyer?"
• "Well, let me talk to her. Believe me,"
• "No, don't be silly. Go ahead and ask."
• "That-- That was her. She wants to stay here."
• "he'd have to have a cigarette in his mouth the whole way."
• "All right. She said she couldn't find a decent hotel room."
• "There must be 11 million decent hotel rooms."
• "This is the signal. Thank you, Mr. Signal."
• "All right. Can we go? I'm double-parked."
• "You think they have a woman coming over, "I gotta tidy up"?"
• "Why even give her an option for? Just give me a second."
• "whhhhhh...real estate, that...sshhhooo?"
• "I gotta get that bathroom ready because she needs things."
• "This is one-- Always been one of the most amazing things to me."
• "Women need them. And they don't need one or two."
• "is in the bottom of your wastebasket."
• "she left a Ziploc baggie of cotton balls at my house."
• "The dating world is a world of pressure. Let's face it,"
• "some people you'll be working with?""
• "if you could just ask a woman what she's thinking."
• "the minute she steps off the plane-- Really, how?"
• "You know how they do that? Also, a shake is bad."
• "and the quality of the wetness in the eyes--"
• "The bags. Let's get the bags. Oh, yeah, sure, the bags."
• "Yes, the "surprise blindfold" greeting."
• "Yeah, it kind of motivates me to work on the road."
• "Actually, um, do you have any wine?"
• "Oh, do you mind if I turn this down?"
• "What is your-- What is your schedule for tomorrow?"
• "five-hour boat rides around Manhattan."
• "I'm just-- I'm really glad you're here."
• "Um, it's for you."
• "[LAUGHS] No, we're going on a boat ride."
• "You-- You have to start thinking in terms of "we.""
• "I can't wait to get on that boat."
• "Women know what men want, men know what men want."
• "It's the only thing we know for sure. It really is."
• "These are the best ideas we've had so far."
• "The woman walks by the front of the car."
• "This man is out of ideas."
• "Let me tell you a little bit about our organization."
• "we have a man working on the situation right now."
• "We're honking our horns to serve you better."