The Boyfriend

Season 3, Episode 17 — 136 scenes

• "...so that we'll be in shape for when we have to do our exercise."
• "What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym clothes?"
• "...you could put a bullet through it and it won't open."
• "I have to dribble. If I give it to you, you just shoot. You're a chucker."
• "No way I'm a chucker! I do not chuck. Never chuck!"
• "-All these years, you never told me? -It's not an easy thing to bring up."
• "What about you, George?"
• "But it was so fast, I didn't see anything. It was just a blur."
• "Keith Hernandez, the baseball player?"
• "Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start."
• "I gotta prove I've been looking for a job to get an extension."
• "The guy was in game six, two runs down, two outs, facing elimination!"
• "Do what I do?! You're one of my favorite ballplayers of all time!"
• "-I love that bit about Jimmy Olsen. -Really?"
• "...with all these ball clubs flying around all season..."
• "You'd think eventually, an entire team would just get wiped out."
• "-Or maybe just get together for coffee. -Oh, that'd be great."
• "You don't understand, Elaine. I don't want to be overanxious."
• "I mean, I really thought he liked me. We were getting along."
• "Well, that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another guy again."
• "-Why don't you just go and call him? -I can't call here. It's a coffee shop."
• "Don't you think that's coming on a little too strong? Isn't that, like, a tur..."
• "If I meet a guy at a club or a gym: "Hey, look, I'm sure you're very nice."
• "Let's jump up and down on my bed!" And if you have anything in common:"
• "You only have two more weeks before your benefits run out."
• "...and listening-- I'm also looking. You cannot discount looking."
• "-And you interviewed there? -Yes, for a sales position."
• "I make one phone call, have boxes of gum delivered right to your door."
• "Jose Jimenez. Do you recognize that?"
• "...129 West 81st Street. It's a very small industry, Vandalay."
• "I gotta run now because I got a full plate this afternoon."
• "...and I hit a beautiful drive right down the middle of the fairway."
• "-Kramer, put Jerry on! -I'm in the middle of something."
• "A guy who used to live in the building keeps calling us to see the baby."
• "-Then you won't have to see it. -Because he'll be all grown-up."
• "You're trying too hard to make an impression on him."
• "They're all double-parked. Get out, I'm begging you."
• "This lane stinks. Go back to your lane. Go ahead. Bad mistake."
• "We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right-field stands..."
• "As he passes us, Newman turns and says, "Nice game, pretty boy.""
• "Then I turned, and the spit ricocheted off him, and it hit me."
• "Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict..."
• "...off the temple, striking Newman between the third and the fourth rib."
• "...makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh."
• "What happened to your head when you got hit?"
• "...that the spit could not have come from behind."
• "So the spit could've only come from the front and to the right."
• "The sad thing is, we may never know the real truth."
• "I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandalay Industries..."
• "-Right here in this little apartment? -And what do I say about you?"
• "I've got enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff."
• "That's what I've been trying to figure out the past five years."
• "-That was really fun. Thanks. -Yeah, it really was."
• "Damn. I was too overanxious. He must have noticed that."
• "-What's her story? -I don't know. We used to go out."
• "You sure you don't mind?"
• "-Did you talk about game six? -No. I gotta wait until it's the right time."
• "-Yeah? -It's Elaine."
• "Didn't have to prove anything, but firm enough to know he was there."
• "So then, as I was getting out of the car--"
• "-Do you mind? -No, I don't mind. Why should I mind?"
• "-Well-- I'll cancel it. -No, don't cancel it."
• "Are you jealous of him or are you jealous of me?"
• "Any Hennigan's around here?"
• "-No, no, no. I can cancel. -Sure. We'll do something next week."
• "If you don't see the baby now, you're never gonna see her."
• "Yeah, that's the right number, but this is an apartment."
• "How did you know who they wanted?!"
• "And you want to be my latex salesman."
• "He was very threatened by me. Why else wouldn't he hire me?"
• "-Who is this? -It's my daughter."
• "I hope you don't mind my saying, she is breathtaking."
• "Would you take this picture away from me? Just take it away."
• "You trying to make a joke, Mrs. Sokol? It's not funny."
• "-Where should I sign this thing? -No, no, no, no. Don't worry about it."
• "He's down there every week waiting on the lines and getting interviewed..."
• "...to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise. I'm sure of it."
• "So who do you think she looks like?"
• "I kept saying to Michael, "When is Jerry going to see the baby?""
• "-I better not. -I'll pick her up."
• "Thank you for a wonderful time, George."
• "...have to get an early start tomorrow. Gotta get up and hit that pavement."
• "Will I call you when I get home? What do you think?"
• "Nobody ever wants you to come over and see their grandfather, do they?"
• "You know what's tough about seeing people when they have a baby..."
• "I think we really made a big mistake. We should have got an aquarium."
• "You know, my mom's one-quarter Cajun."
• "Come on. I won the MVP in '79. I can do whatever I want to."
• "Well, this is getting awkward."
• "Who does this guy think he is?"
• "-He's the one who got that hit-- -I know. He got the hit in game six!"
• "Did he kiss you good night?"
• "Was it a peck? Was it a kiss? Was it a long make-out thing?"
• "I'm jealous of everybody."
• "Oh, hi. What's happening?"
• "-What's going on? -He wants me to help him move."
• "I said, yes, but I don't feel right about it."
• "Don't you think that's coming on a little too strong?"
• "Keith Hernandez just asked me to help him move."
• "You see? Wasn't I right about this guy? Didn't I tell you?"
• "-Kramer, do me a favor, would you? -What?"
• "-Why? Is anything wrong? -It's over, buddy. Done."
• "You think I'm going to spend my life with somebody..."
• "I wouldn't have brought it up, but since you mentioned it."
• "Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base."
• "...but I really think that we're hitting it off."
• "-What are you doing? -What's that?"
• "I'm making wisecracks in some nightclub. This guy was in game six."
• "I know this sounds a little arrogant, but I never thought she'd find..."
• "What was the tallest woman you ever slept with?"
• "So I guess it's fair to say you've set different goals for yourself than..."
• "He's got some valuable antiques. He's worried they'll break something."
• "I'm not driving him to the airport!"
• "I'll tell you, she's very particular, your daughter. Very particular."
• "It's funny, because I happen to be very good friends with..."
• "I can produce Keith Hernandez, right here..."
• "129 West 81st Street, and hurry."
• "But it's attached to the headboard, and we'll have to take that apart."
• "...so it's going to be difficult getting it downstairs."
• "-There's no elevator? -No, it's a brownstone. Three floors."
• "I can't help you move, I'm sorry. I can't! I just can't."
• "Mets-Phillies. You made a big error. Cost the Mets the game."
• "Hey, that ticked me off. I was turning to say something..."
• "...I saw Roger McDowell behind the bushes..."
• "Anyway, he was talking to someone, and they were pointing at you."
• "He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head."
• "Some of the stuff is very fragile We'll have to handle it like a baby."
• "Oh, hi, Elaine. What's going on?"
• "Oh, smoking. You know, you're like going out with C. Everett Koop."
• "-What happened? Where's Keith? -You just missed him. He just left."
• "It'll take five minutes!"
• "...what's next?"
• "I was walking behind you, and you..."
• "I mean, you can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate."
• "At a funeral, everyone's crying around. You're looking at the casket:"
• "The only ones you could really ask to help you with a big move like that."