The Virgin

Season 4, Episode 10 — 70 scenes

• "Which is fine, unless the person you're in the relationship with..."
• "...has a "Eight More Months of Guilt, Torture and Pain" card."
• "All day tomorrow? We had a month to come up with something."
• "I think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now."
• "I almost dated the one on the right. She's in the closet business."
• "She mentioned she had a boyfriend. Then it hit me:"
• "The Wall had just come down. You told me you wanted to be..."
• "...and they covered it so well, I thought, why knock my brains out?"
• "They gotta approve the story before we can write it."
• "What's your phone-call frequency? Are you on a daily?"
• "Saturday nights, do you ask her out, or is the date implied?"
• "I'm looking at a guy in a semi-daily, with Tampax in his house..."
• "Once you can get girlfriends, you just want more girlfriends."
• "...that's gonna make the decision whether or not they pick up the show."
• "...so that she'll still like me, and it doesn't affect the deal?"
• "Hear me out. Don't dismiss this. You're quick to dismiss."
• "She's got a big crush on David Letterman. I mean, a big crush."
• "I don't think you are."
• "The hangers, the bar, the shelves, and in its place, install a series of hooks."
• "The shirts, pants, sports jackets, pajamas."
• "Because I've been watching too much. It was an addiction. I couldn't stop."
• "-Go out. It's nice out. -There's nothing out there for me."
• "-I don't know. -Will you tape it?"
• "-Never came back. -Oh, you must have been devastated..."
• "I don't know what she's doing here now."
• "-Go on. -Well, I wouldn't move in, because--"
• "-I wanted to return your tape. -Oh, thanks a lot. Two weeks late."
• "...at this crazy party I was at last night."
• "I was talking to this guy, and I just happened to throw..."
• "So I carry around my diaphragm. Who doesn't?"
• "-What, was it something I said? -She's a virgin. She just told me."
• "-I'm gonna-- I'll be right back. -Don't-- Elaine. Elaine."
• "You need a little pioneer spirit. You don't have any of that..."
• "-Wanna order? -All right, then we gotta get work done."
• "-What do you mean "a broad noodle"? -It's a big, flat noodle."
• "I'll get the pea pods, and you can't have any of my pea pods."
• "...they committed a crime and wanna flee the scene before police get there."
• "Well, the smart ones start working on their getaway stories during dinner."
• "We need to come up with one good idea, we can get through this meeting."
• "He cooks my food, cleans my house, does my shopping, there you go."
• "...and he was biking towards me, so I got out of the way in time..."
• "...but he ran into a parked car, hit his head..."
• "You should slow down, you know. It's dangerous to go that fast."
• "-What about the meeting? -An hour with Patrick Swayze."
• "...crosses against the light and knocks over a Chinese delivery boy."
• "You know how fast word spreads in show business? Just like that:"
• "She was standing on the street, and then she was laughing..."
• "I just saw David Letterman walk by."
• "Mr. Seinfeld, they're ready for you now."
• "Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star."
• "-Hello, Jerry. I'm Rita Kirson. -Oh, nice to meet you."
• "-David Letterman's on the floor? -Yeah, he just walked by."
• "...and they say five minutes for a table, and you wind up..."
• "...and you bump into somebody you know."
• "I-- I get into an accident with a guy who has no insurance..."
• "You see somebody in one of those, you start laughing immediately."
• "Hey, I'm sorry I'm late."
• "Good to see you, Stu and Jay. Always a pleasure. Hi, sweetie."
• "I'll bet they're probably doing somersaults about us over there."
• "What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on."
• "You didn't realize? How could you not realize? You're stupid."
• "I'll speak to you later."
• "You can't break up with her. Her life is shattered. You got her fired."
• "You gotta wait until she gets another job."
• "-Why would I? This is my apartment. -Well, what if it was my apartment?"
• "And I mean that literally. A tree fell on the roof and cracked the structure."
• "Listen, there was a lot more I could've told her, believe me."
• "...learned her father's a homosexual and got fired from a high-paying job."
• "In fact, I'm writing a comedy pilot for NBC right now."
• "...and throw her into a volcano. There's a first date you'll never forget."