The Van Buren Boys
Season 8, Episode 14 — 69 scenes
- "No, I mean like a full, long beard, like Smith Brothers Cough Drops."
- "Their ambition is based on personal insecurity."
- "They're pounding on your chest, and you're going: "Ten, nine, eight--"
- "- Why? - Today is my birthday."
- "So she went out with you on a first date and it was her birthday?"
- "I'm interviewing high schoolers for the Susan Ross Scholarship."
- "...as long as they're not you?"
- "And then I received a 740 on the English Achievement Test."
- "Well, the modern-day harp has been refined over thousands of years..."
- "Who's your favorite chess player?"
- "What country is he from again?"
- "Well, I've been telling people that I'd like to be an architect."
- "So get this, Mr. Peterman is finally letting me do some real writing."
- "There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?"
- "Oh, yeah, and they're just as mean as he was."
- "Then they back me up against the cartoon map of Italy..."
- "Jerry, can you hold on a sec? I just wanna check my messages."
- "- Get your messages? - Yeah. No one called."
- "They acted like it was some act of charity, going out with her."
- "...and finally this kid walks in, Steven Koren, a regular guy."
- "And he also knows that finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything."
- "Oh, Elaine, we've covered all of that in the catalog, ad nauseam."
- "- Well, Mr. Peterman, do you want to--? - Two: CBS."
- "A friend of mine almost got beat up at that place by the Van Buren Boys."
- "Well, so we pay off your friend, and it becomes a Peterman."
- "Is that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday?"
- "Wait a second. Is that the fork that fell on the floor?"
- "Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to introduce you..."
- "Actually, maybe I could set my sights a little bit higher."
- "You know, the stupidest guy in my fraternity became an architect..."
- "Susan would be very proud of what you're doing."
- "And they made it their sign because Van Buren, our eighth president..."
- "- My whole life? - Name your price, man."
- "Kramer, my friend, you consider Elaine at your disposal."
- "I like to work in the evenings."
- "Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there..."
- "- The next thing I knew-- - A train is bearing down on you?"
- "Hey, listen. By the way, I'm hosting a little get-together tonight..."
- "Oh, you're getting together with some of your jackass friends?"
- "So you're denying him the scholarship because he wants to be a planner?"
- "- We're set for the weekend. - Spending the weekend with Ellen?"
- "Jerry, this whole Ellen situation has gone far enough."
- "So, what are you saying? That we're wrong? Everybody's wrong but you."
- "...and he's the same, and everybody else is different."
- "Why did you take away my scholarship, Mr. Costanza?"
- "He became so disillusioned, he had to join us."
- "Elaine, try the beef, because that's real au jus sauce. Real au jus sauce."
- "- It never happened, you understand? - Come on."
- "They-- They fit well and so I decided I wasn't gonna return them."
- "No, I certainly don't have any stories if that's what you're implying."
- "...but the Van Buren Boys, they never hassle their own kind."
- "Well, just shape them, change them. You're a writer."
- "Make them interesting."
- "- I gotta see what they think of her. - Maybe we can have dinner later."
- "...but as I'm stacking them up they keep falling into my footbath."
- "- How much did you pay for them? - Eight bucks."
- "Now, that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn."
- "...and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers."
- "The very pants I was returning."
- "No, no, no, Mr. Peterman, why don't we keep them as a reference."
- "And by the way, when you get to that chapter about romantic escapades..."
- "So, Mr. Costanza, did you get my scholarship back?"
- "...let's see you take the wallet off the next guy who walks by."
- "And after college I got my master's at the Sorbonne."
- "And so much personality. But it doesn't matter what we think."
- "She's 10 times better than that awful Amber girl that you were with."
- "All right, no more stalling."
- "Give me your wallet or I'll spill your guts right here on the street."
- "George Costanza, what is the matter with you?"
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