The Big Salad

Season 6, Episode 2 — 61 scenes

• ""You got a pen? Can I borrow a pen?" We always have to whisper..."
• "...because it's so humiliating. "I don't have a pen.""
• "-It's a mechanical pencil. -Oh, I know the Rolamech 1000."
• "...and when it comes in, I'll give you a call."
• "-And your last name? -It's just Elaine. Like Cher."
• "-Why did you give him my number? -Don't worry about it."
• "-Hi. -Oh, hi. Elaine's my middle name."
• "-I'm going to the coffee shop. -They have big salads."
• "Big lettuce, big carrots. Tomatoes like volleyballs."
• "I know. Whenever I'm on a date, I always feel like people can tell."
• "-He used to be a baseball player. -How'd you end up golfing with him?"
• "The rules clearly state you cannot clean the ball unless it's on the green."
• "-Think I'm gonna put up with that?!" -All right. All right! You're in my face."
• "The quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons..."
• "Hebert. It's a fun name to pronounce. Try and say it. Hebert."
• "Stationery-store guy called to say he ordered your pencil."
• "Meeting Mother at the Guggenheim. You don't wanna go?"
• "Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big salad to Elaine?"
• "You buy a big salad for somebody, it would be nice if they knew it."
• "...in the murder of Bobby Pinkus, the owner of Royal Dry Cleaners..."
• "...reportedly saw an irate Gendason leaving the clubhouse in a huff."
• "...that he murdered the dry cleaner."
• "-I like Julie. She's very personable. -Yeah, she's lovely."
• "But she happened to picked it up at the restaurant, even though...."
• "It's just that I was the one that actually paid for the big salad."
• "Kramer played golf with him, and Kramer thinks a penalty stroke..."
• "They know we're on a date. They're making fun."
• "No, I don't know what time she might be coming back."
• "You know, Gendason. This is something, isn't it?"
• "Nice seeing you again, Margaret. Bye, Jerry."
• "No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little curious. Why did you stop seeing him?"
• "It was a couple of years ago. Why, does it matter?"
• "And the most distressing part is not that she went out with him..."
• "So the question, then, is not so much why did she see him..."
• "No. He left the store early, made a special trip to the distributor and got it."
• "-I wanted to please Mr. Pitt. -You better go down and tell this guy."
• "It's kind of a bad time. Could you come back later?"
• "No, we can't. My skin is crawling just being inside your little rat's nest."
• "-What is wrong with her? -Well, if you're happy with her..."
• "Drop by anytime, Jerry."
• "…except on the putting green, he shall incur a penalty of one stroke.""
• "He said he brought his pants to Pinkus', and they came back stained..."
• "You met Margaret. You think Margaret's good-looking?"
• "It doesn't seem like a gender thing. I think I would like to play with dolls."
• "...about how she'd better hurry up and leave or you'd make her buy lunch..."
• "Well, she probably just assumed."
• "...that even though you handed her the big salad, that it came from me?"
• "George, all I did was hand someone a bag."
• "Well, why did you tell me to order it if you knew..."
• "-Yes. -Well, again, I'm just awfully sorry."
• "Well, then how about going out with me?"
• "I mean, they found a tee. And he played golf that day."
• "I moved on. I'm not hung up on him."
• "-What are you looking at? -What? I'm not looking. Nothing."
• "...when I was looking at her face was, "Newman found this unacceptable.""
• "You had to tell Julie that I made a special point of telling you..."
• "He escaped, and the police spotted him on the New Jersey Turnpike."
• "And we have gotten an identification on the driver of the vehicle."
• "-I told you not to take the turnpike. -I thought we would blend in."
• "After a while they go, "I wish this guy would kill me. I can't take it anymore!""
• ""Watch your head. Don't hit that metal edge there. That really hurts.""