The Fix-up

Season 3, Episode 16 — 74 scenes

• "Do you really need somebody waving a stick in your face..."
• "I don't see the cellist looking up, "I'm confused. I don't know what to do.""
• "See, why must it be so difficult? Why all this tension and hostility?"
• "How are you?" Is that so terrible?"
• "They're not interested in confining themselves to one person."
• "Somebody who just appreciates being with me because he's so desperate."
• "It's gotten to the point where I'm flirting with operators on the phone."
• "But, I'm telling you, if I'm not married by the time I'm 40, I'll have to kil..."
• "-Aren't you too young to be bitter? -No, you can be young and bitter."
• "They should give you a Wet-Nap when you buy one, like at those rib joints."
• "Get rid of it in one fell swoop so we could eliminate it..."
• "-I've never fixed anybody up. -Me neither."
• "...you are dead wrong. Dead wrong."
• "You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high."
• "That's because my standards are too low."
• "And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that."
• "I've seen him lift 100 pounds over his head without even knowing it."
• "We're going to tell each other everything? Every secret?"
• "No! No! I am not going down that road."
• "-What hesitate? I didn't hesitate. -Something's up. You hesitated."
• "-Really good? -Really very nice and good."
• "-What about personality? -Good personality."
• "I don't want anyone smarter than me."
• "All right, let's see. Let's see. What else? What else?"
• "Why did he get fired?"
• "It's such a long story. Seriously, he just had some problems at work."
• "He is so powerful. He can lift 100 pounds right up over his head."
• "-What kind of hair? -You know, long, dark hair."
• "Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair."
• ""Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.""
• "If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out?"
• "-I'd like to be able to get it out. -I think you'll get it out."
• "-A pinkish hue? -Yes, a rosy glow."
• "She's got great eyebrows. Women kill to have her eyebrows."
• "But not too sweet. You could throw up from that."
• "I don't think you'll throw up."
• "He once spent a weekend with a woman."
• "He didn't really try to poison his boss."
• "I threw away my notes in the middle of the call."
• "On the date, they should just have two phones on the table at the restaurant."
• "We had a relaxed, stimulating, great conversation. She doesn't mention it?"
• "All right. All right. I'll go on the date, but that's that."
• "-The guy from Jersey. -He just got a job at a condom factory."
• "-What will you do with all of them? -Oh, well...."
• "No, thanks. They look like they came out of a cereal box."
• "Anyway, they look kind of cheap."
• "Show up there with your little shaving cream, your little toothpaste."
• "-I'll call you back when I'm done. -Remember our pact: full disclosure."
• "I'm gonna tell you, but I made a pact with Cynthia."
• "So he felt he'd perform better if we did it in the kitchen."
• "-What did he have to say? -He said he had a good time."
• "-You sure? -Yeah."
• "I guess everything is under control."
• "We have sex, she leaves 10 minutes later, then I never hear from her again."
• "Leaves you sitting there on the kitchen floor like some kind of roach trap."
• "I keep racking my brain to try to figure out what I did."
• "-You wanna fight me? -Jerry, I'm gonna kill you."
• "The next one of you that opens your mouth, you'll have to deal with me."
• "Come on, there are plenty women out there for all of us."
• "By the way, those condoms I gave you? They're defective. Don't use them."
• "-Didn't think you'd use them. -What do you mean--?!"
• "Don't worry. If anything was wrong, she'd have called you."
• "Yeah. How'd you know?"
• "It says "twist-off." Twist off! Twist! Off!"
• "What's the problem with your little flaky friend? She doesn't return calls?"
• "You said they had a good time. What else are you keeping from me?"
• "Now, don't you two see that you're in love with each other?"
• "By the way, when you see George, give him these. These'll work."
• "I can do it! I can do it! I'm a father!"
• "And tells me that whatever happens, whatever I decide is fine with him..."
• "Sorry we're late. We got so hung up in traffic. I'm sorry."
• "...and a little power trip for you, isn't it?"
• "She was going out with a snake. I think that's over, though.""
• "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"