The Library

Season 3, Episode 5 — 66 scenes

• "There's always a sawdust joke in there somewhere, you know."
• "They're just kind of dangling there. Always kind of askew, you know."
• "This is a joke, right? What are you, from a radio station?"
• "...says that I took out Tropic of Cancer in 1971..."
• "She wore this orange dress. It's the first time I saw her in a dress like that."
• "It's George. Wait till he finds out we're going to the library. He'll be thri..."
• "Look, I gotta go to the library. You wanna go?"
• "I kind of like those sticks. I'd like to get them in my house."
• "This is a lonely woman looking for companionship."
• "So now she needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding."
• "This case has been turned over to our investigations officer, Mr. Bookman."
• "Well, Lieutenant Bookman's been working here 25 years..."
• "Did you see the homeless guy on the library steps..."
• "...completely covered in filth, no whistle. But I think it's him."
• "-Why was I told to come down here? -He'll be out all afternoon on a case."
• "-It's not him. -Hey, I'll see you boys later, huh?"
• "So, what's a guy gotta do around here to get a library card?"
• "-Where's Karen? -She went to pick up lunch."
• "...because I'm getting, like, a really weird vibe."
• "...means there's something to know. If you really didn't, you'd say:"
• "-Marie, this water is still too cold. -Oh, yeah. It's freezing."
• "Just because I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum, does it?"
• "I remember he made you wear a jock on your head for a whole class."
• "I had him for hygiene. Remember his teeth?"
• "Your underwear was sticking out of your shorts during gym class."
• "Because the underwear is pulled up from the back until it..."
• "We just tease someone till they develop an eating disorder."
• "...that would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend."
• "That's what the library is. It's a government-funded pathetic friend."
• "Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it."
• "But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella."
• "...I returned that book. I remember it very specifically."
• "You know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"?"
• "Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe."
• "Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books..."
• "Maybe that's how you get your kicks, you and your good-time buddies."
• "You got seven days, Seinfeld."
• "-So? I didn't do anything wrong. -I'm supposed to be at work."
• "There's no way I'm paying that! I returned that book in 1971!"
• "Becker, Becker...."
• "So, Sherry, what do you remember about that day at the library?"
• "-You sure it wasn't orange? -Positive."
• "...reading passages to each other from that Henry Miller book you had."
• "All right. I'll see you after school. I'm late for Heyman's hygiene."
• "I just remembered something. I've gotta go."
• "That is great poetry. You should be published."
• "Well, the library's kind of a cool place when it's closed."
• "I remember when the librarian was a much older woman."
• "Got that, kewpie doll?"
• "-See me. That can't be good. -Maybe you're getting a raise."
• "-George is on his way up. -Wait till I tell him about the book."
• "-What? -It's-- It's Marion's poetry."
• "Remember that biography I recommended?"
• "-Remember that Columbus book? -Columbus. Eurotrash."
• "He smelled like the locker room after that game against Erasmus."
• "...but something was holding me back."
• "Here I was on the steps of the 42nd Street library..."
• "So, Georgie boy, guess what happened to Tropic of Cancer."
• "All right. I'll see you after school. I'm late for Heyman's hygiene."
• "Your underwear was sticking out of your shorts during gym class."
• "Because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle."
• "-So you were saying? -So I took your suggestion..."
• "-I wonder what happened to him. -I guess we'll never know."
• "...and then suddenly, you're, like, in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes."
• "Teachers are yelling at you, "Where's your jockstrap?" You know."
• "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"