The Baby Shower

Season 2, Episode 10 — 62 scenes

• ""Isn't that your father?" "Doesn't matter, I gotta keep going.""
• "Before there was flipping around, before there was television..."
• "I always wonder in that era if they would get 30 storytellers together..."
• "Yeah, performance artist. She's a performer, a real trouper."
• "Pardon me for setting you up with a beautiful, intelligent woman."
• "Maybe for her new performance piece, she'll give birth on-stage."
• "So for the rest of the show I'm sitting there with chocolate all over me."
• "Later, finally, backstage, when I talk to her..."
• "Never called me back. Never apologized. Nothing."
• "Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me."
• "I mean, what is this fascination? Who cares? It's all so boring."
• "She did some outdoor version of Hair in Danbury, Connecticut."
• "Well, I mean does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?"
• "There's no hazing of the foetus or anything, is there?"
• "Just, like, one wrong turn, the whole buffet is, like, right off the table."
• "...I'm gonna tell that woman what I think of her."
• "So you're gonna wait for the cable companies to resolve their dispute?"
• "Look at you. You're banging things. You're just pathetic."
• "-What you're suggesting is illegal. -It's not illegal."
• "He'll slow down your gas meter. He sells slugs, Jerry."
• "Let me get him in. It's the '90s. It's Hammer Time. Come on."
• "No, every time I turn on a TV, sirens are gonna go off."
• "Yeah, Jerry's gonna be a cable boy A cable boy, a cable boy"
• "We're with the FBI. You wanna tell us about your cable hookup?"
• "What about the Russian guy? The Russian guy's the guy you want."
• "What have you done to my little cable boy?"
• "No, sir, we're flying into a blizzard. Please fasten your seat belt."
• "I'm not afraid of flying, although many people do have fear of flying."
• "And then when we landed safely, they all seemed so disappointed."
• "We can't go back to my place. Elaine's having the shower."
• "My place? No, no. I hate my place. I don't wanna go back to my place."
• "Nice try, my friend, but you gotta get up pretty early in the morning."
• "Then I'm gonna say, "Remember this shirt, baby? Well, now..."
• "My therapist told me if I go through labour, I might get psychotic."
• "Is he still with them? You don't hear much about him these days."
• "No, I'm having a party here. You can't do this now."
• "If I send him away now, it's gonna take Jerry months to get him back."
• "...and watch something on Lifetime."
• "You think I'm some sort of a loser that likes to be abused and ignored?"
• "Yeah, I eat the whole apple. Core, stem, seeds, just everything."
• "See, in Russia, the cable guy, they got the whole run of the house."
• "I can't believe you told Kramer to install cable during the shower."
• "George, don't even think about it. Don't even dream about it."
• "George Costanza."
• "...but we actually went out a couple years ago..."
• "I'm not actually a performer, although my parents felt I had talent--"
• "You thought you could waltz through life and never bump into me again."
• "Well, you're the one who doesn't deserve my respect and attention!"
• "I guess I'd be better suited for improvs or something--"
• "-Oh, I'm so sorry you have to go. -Yeah, I really have to be going."
• "Four hundred dollars."
• "Four hundred dollars."
• "Oh, Leslie, I am so sorry about everything that went on here tonight."
• "What was I like in college?"
• "I'm not paying $400. I don't even want the thing."
• "Every woman on the face of the earth..."
• "I saw John Jr. once downtown. I was on a bus."
• "...you don't want to see this person ever again for the rest of your life?"
• "You'll be around other people, you won't be around me..."
• ""Take care, take care." What does that mean? "Take care.""
• "Get out of here.""
• "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"