The Slicer

Season 9, Episode 7 — 69 scenes

• "-No. No, I don't want this anymore. -We're going to work with you."
• "-Elaine. Elaine. -I'm suffocating. I can't breathe."
• "Turn your alarm off."
• "But how does it apply to what we do here at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?"
• "But what the hell, we need someone, huh?"
• "Let's find you an office, huh?"
• "...my clothes, my towel, my umbrella, they're all gone."
• "I grab their boom box and I chuck it into the ocean."
• "So finally I gave him a fake address and got the hell out of there."
• "You know what to do? You sneak that photo out..."
• "Everywhere you go they always give you these misshaped, shoddy meats."
• "I mean, look how thin that is. See, that's all surface area."
• "You know, that happened to Lomez, so he blew his neighbor's circuit."
• "Just let me finish this mile-high and I'll be right with you."
• "Oh, see, this socket, it's probably connected to her apartment."
• "-I thought you've done this before. -Yeah, well, I have, it's just..."
• "-Oh, mama. -Are you okay?"
• "You'd have no idea what it's like to have someone's life depend on you."
• "But I'm still here. You took out the other guy."
• "You've really lost a lot of hair."
• "The world's best pizza-cutter."
• "I just pray Kruger doesn't realize it's gone until this guy can fix it."
• "She spent an hour and a half making me feel like I'm worthless."
• "The whole profession is, "Just put some aloe on it.""
• "She's one step above working at the Clinique counter."
• "Oh, no, no, no. This has to be carefully orchestrated."
• "-All right, let's do it. -Yeah, all right, here we go."
• "-Can I borrow that thing for a while? -Oh, I don't think so."
• "You call yourself life saver. I call you Pimple Popper, M.D."
• "You were right, Kramer, this slicer is absolutely amazing."
• "Yeah, Yeah. No, no, no, I'll bring it by tonight."
• "These heels are so uneven."
• "Here you go, Mr. Costanza."
• "But it's not a photograph. I need a photograph."
• "I know. The only way to fix it now is to get a whole new photo of Kruger."
• "Someone's gotta unhook the boat before it leaves the place."
• "I almost forgot to ask you. How did the revenge date go?"
• "Wait a second. She did a skin-cancer screening at Peterman?"
• "So I set up a screening, everyone takes their shirt off..."
• "Elaine. All right, where's the SP 2000?"
• "Oh, no clowns. I don't like clowns."
• "...because I believe in that, but as far as you and I are concerned, it's off."
• "Out, damn heel."
• "Yeah, listen, I need my slicer back."
• "Okay. I'm on the phone, all right? I'm on the phone with someone."
• "-I'm on a big phone call. -Oh, come on. This is important."
• "Whoa, back up. Dr. Sitarides? Yeah, what happened there?"
• "It does itch. Maybe I will go down to Kruger and talk to her."
• "I just talked to Mr. Kruger. He'll be down in a minute."
• "Are you suggesting I somehow infected you on purpose?"
• "Go in there, pretend you're a doctor and check this guy for moles."
• "All right. Come on, let's get in there. Quick, quick, quick."
• "That is it. I can't take this anymore."
• "...we'll take a photo for the records..."
• "Yes, let's have a look-see?"
• "Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles."
• "Tell him you're concerned and he should see someone else."
• "-It'll be ultrathin. He'll barely feel it. -No. Absolutely not."
• "Finally. Okay, I need somebody to come over here right away."
• "Yep. And the photo is all fixed and back on his desk, no thanks to you."
• "-I don't want this on my conscience. -I will get him to see a real doctor."
• "That's where the hives are coming from. It's not Dr. Sitarides."
• "So somehow the Bronze-O is reacting to the poison she's giving you."
• "He says, it might be wise for you to see another doctor about that mole."
• "Now, that mole looks exactly as it does today."
• "When he went in for a swim, my sons and I took all his stuff..."
• "...stole the photograph and airbrushed myself out of it."
• "I can't believe Kruger didn't fire you after all that."
• "-Can I have a sip? -Oh, yeah, coming up."