The Bizarro Jerry

Season 8, Episode 3 — 66 scenes

• "In the circus, you get to ride on the train, see the whole planet."
• "But in the zoo, you know, they might put a woman in there with me..."
• "Exquisite marble, high ceilings and a flush like a jet engine:"
• "Why don't you try your engagement story?"
• "- Won't work. - Are you sure?"
• "...but maybe we'd be better off just being friends."
• "Hey, Leland wants everyone in the conference room now."
• "- Not bad. What does she--? - I put her stats on the back."
• "You are not gonna believe this. I told him that I just wanted to be friends."
• "Women like that are like members of a secret tribe living in a forbidden city."
• "...now it looks like we're gonna have to move the whole damn forbidden city."
• "Let me just check and make sure I have the right name."
• "- Who's up for drinks? I'm buying. - In that case, make mine a double."
• "- Hi. - It's very nice to meet you."
• "She had man-hands."
• "Okay, listen. You're picking me up from White Plains tomorrow, right?"
• "If you need an extra set of hands, I know who you can call."
• "It's 8 in the morning. What the hell is going on?"
• "- How much are they paying you? - No, no, no. I don't want any pay."
• "- Well, what do you got in there? - Crackers."
• "- I don't know, but you don't have it. - Right. Bye."
• "I had to ask Kevin to leave his office and come and pick me up."
• "He says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives."
• "- Is he black? - Just forget the whole thing, all right?"
• "We better get going if we're gonna go to that 7:00 Hall of Fusion."
• "Oh, and listen, could you keep it down to a low roar?"
• "You know who used to love Paris? My dead fiancée, Susan."
• "Do you wanna dance?"
• "- Would you like some bread, Jerry? - No. No, thanks, I'm just not hungry."
• "- I don't want to. - Make a wish."
• "Didn't come true."
• "Don't you just love lobster?"
• "These are a couple of my friends. This is Gene..."
• "- Then it does exist. - Yes, the legends are true."
• "You know, I'm the one who's actually dating the woman in the picture."
• "Well, I gotta say, I think that that is a fantastic idea, Feldman."
• "Those meaty paws. I feel like I'm dating George "The Animal" Steele."
• "- What is going on with you two? - Oh, I don't wanna talk about it."
• "Kevin and his friends are nice people."
• "- ...and the teller gives me this look-- - I'll see you later, man. I gotta go."
• "Listen, you know, I'm thinking we might just be better off being friends."
• "I need one or I can't get back into the forbidden city."
• "If I get it, will you take me to that club and show me a good time?"
• "- Work piled up, I lost track of the time. - Sure. Sure."
• "- What? You cooked? - I ordered in. It's still effort."
• "Maybe she can get another picture."
• "I've got to have another picture of Gillian."
• "I tried to get him one, but man-hands almost ripped my arm out."
• "Guys, I gotta go. Take it easy."
• "We've already got a George."
• "Kramer, I've been reviewing your work. Quite frankly, it stinks."
• "I mean, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes."
• "That's what makes this so difficult."
• "What'd you do? Cut this out of a magazine or something?"
• "It's from a Clinique ad I did."
• "- Hi, Elaine. - Hi, Kevin."
• "- What's up? - Just reading."
• "- Eating olives. - Ever hear of asking?"
• "- From across the hall. - Hold on."
• "Hey, Elaine, Feldman was able to get us all tickets to the Bolshoi."
• "- What's the matter with you? - Oh, Kevin."
• "I guess the DJ booth was over there behind the bone saw?"
• "At work, I discovered a pay phone in the lobby that has free long distance."
• "- From across the hall. - Hold on."
• "- Feldman, you didn't have to do that. - Hey, what are friends for?"
• "Me want to cry."