The Outing

Season 4, Episode 17 — 70 scenes

• "I'm tired of pretending I'm excited every time it's somebody's birthday."
• "It's like Ed Asner, Elijah Muhammed and Secretariat."
• "I don't wanna live."
• "You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me."
• "She threatened to kill herself."
• "This is Jerry Seinfeld. She was supposed to meet me for an interview."
• "She's a grad student in journalism. Never been to a comedy club."
• "If it's all-time, there's no contest. It begins and ends with Brezhnev."
• "I mean, you should come out of the closet and be openly gay already."
• "I could just see you in Berlin in 1939 goose-stepping past me."
• "I'm here at the coffee shop, and I was a little late."
• "I'll be here for a little while longer, and I'll try to hook up with you later."
• "I just thought of a great name for myself, if I ever become a porno actor."
• "-How you gonna get out of that one? -I don't know."
• "She's doing the interview. I told her to come here..."
• "-He'll hang around, if that's okay. -Sure, I'd like to talk to him too."
• "Okay, let's see. Are you just a comedian, or do you do anything else?"
• "-Yeah, I washed it. -It looks like it hasn't been washed."
• "You hear the way he talks to me?"
• "You should hear how my boyfriend talks to me."
• "-Oh, you said you didn't like it. -Oh, well, so what if I don't like it?"
• "Actually, it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes..."
• "That's why my friend said all that. It was on purpose. We're not gay."
• "Hey, come on. Let's go. I thought we were gonna take a steam."
• "So what, even if it does come out. It'll just be in an NYU paper."
• "-Today's not my birthday. -Well, I beg to differ."
• "Now when someone's on the phone, I can make a call."
• "All right. Go to your house. I'll call you."
• "...I'm not gonna play up that angle we talked about on the story."
• "How you doing? You know I got that reporter from the newspaper..."
• "...I could hear you on the other line."
• "All right. Let me call Kramer, and see if you can hear anything. Hold on."
• "She thinks we're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with it."
• "...are nobody's business but their own."
• "You know there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on..."
• "...thinks I'm gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
• "Two tickets to Guys and Dolls. I'm gonna go with you."
• "You're right. Guys and Dolls. Thanks. Thanks very much."
• "-You said you liked her. -Well, so what? Maybe I do like her."
• "...the comedian and his longtime companion seem to be inseparable.""
• "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
• "...Seinfeld and Costanza bicker over the cleanliness of a piece of fruit..."
• "I thought we were friends."
• "I mean, how could you two keep this a secret from me?"
• "-Hello. -George?"
• "Oh, my God. Ma?"
• "They were culottes! You bought them in the girls' department."
• "I open up the paper, and this is what I have to read about?"
• "Who knows what you're doing. Maybe you're making porno films."
• "Six-thirty, Scott. Time for your sponge bath."
• "Let me help you off with that. Here, I'll Just slip it over your head."
• "-The water's nice and warm, isn't it? -Oh, that feels really good."
• "That reporter from NYU. I wonder what she wants."
• "I want you to know that it took a lot of guts to come out how you did..."
• "-Would you keep your voice down? -No, I will not keep my voice down!"
• "When she sees it, she's gonna think...."
• "Well, this is nice. They mention your name."
• "-Jerry's a very private person. -I wanna hear it from Jerry."
• "Oh, can you ever forgive me?"
• "You know, the funny thing is, I was attracted to you immediately."
• "Jerry! Oh, my God! What are you doing?"
• "I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what you do?"
• "Wait a minute. You wrote the article. Go ahead. Tell her."
• "-You stupid idiot. -Oh, please don't be upset."
• "My name's Buck Naked. I'm a porno actor."
• "-Hey, how you doing? -How you doing?"
• "-Hi. How are you? -Hi. How are you?"
• "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
• "Although I'm sure there are, I don't want to perpetuate the stereotype."
• "...but it's about time you got in shape, tucked your shirt in and lost the wi..."