The Contest

Season 4, Episode 11 — 60 scenes

• "That's why if I found I was adopted, that would come as great news."
• "...it's possible, that my mother and father are just really great friends."
• "You. Take off your socks and pants. We're doing the wash."
• "Come on. Take it off. Take it off."
• "My mother had a Glamour magazine. I started leafing through it."
• "So she fell, and then she starts screaming, "My back, my back!""
• "All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, George, why?""
• "-You think you could? -I could hold out longer than you."
• "It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man. We have to do it."
• "That is such baloney. I shave my legs."
• "I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system."
• "All right. Come on."
• "You know, if everyone who did that had to go see a psychiatrist...."
• "-Hey, what are you doing tonight? -Date with Marla."
• "Hey, look at this. Come here. There's a naked woman across the street."
• "They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops."
• "My friend Joyce is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight."
• "Then, I got a call this morning. I was chosen to go on the space shuttle."
• "You know, you better be careful, buddy. She'll get you next."
• "You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon?"
• "Don't give me "Ma." It's good I didn't hit the table."
• "-I want you to go see somebody. -Well, I am not going."
• "What is this, a police investigation? She's been through enough."
• "Let me help you off with that. Here, just slip it over your head."
• "...what is it you're doing, exactly?"
• "George, your cousin Shelly is talking to you!"
• "-He's gonna be in your class today. -In my class?"
• "Yeah. Butt, butt. Great butt. John-John's butt."
• "-Let's slow it down a little. -Slow it down?"
• "You think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am?"
• "Nothing like some good, solid sack-time."
• "...and I'm telling her to put those shades down."
• "-I'm doing it. Get out of my way. -No, no. You can't."
• "...we'd think, "Why can't a woman out there take her clothes off?""
• "The nurse was giving her a sponge bath?"
• "I guess you'll be going back to that hospital."
• "John F. Kennedy Jr."
• "No, you don't understand. He was working out in front of me."
• "So we get in the cab, and I mean, I have no idea where I'm going, right?"
• "...and then I had to take a cab all the way back downtown to my house."
• "My mother is in the hospital. I'm gonna pay her a visit."
• "I just got here, Ma. I'd like to spend a little time with you."
• "But if you wait, they won't let you back in!"
• "Hang on, Ma. Hang on."
• "...you made quite an impression on him yesterday."
• "He told me to tell you he'll be in your neighborhood tomorrow around 9:00."
• "I like kids' shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality."
• "The woman across the block Has nothing on, nothing on"
• "I had a blue-striped pair just like that, and now I don't have them anymore."
• "-This is ridiculous. -You believe this? We're fighting."
• "I figured you'd cruise, at least through the spring."
• "But he told Joyce that he wants to meet me outside here at 9:00 tonight."
• "Elaine Benes..."
• "I know how difficult this must have been for you."
• "It was just a bet. It actually started with George and his mother."
• "I don't wanna have anything to do with you or your perverted friends."
• "-You know, I said hello to him. He's-- -Oh, my God in heaven."
• "...that was wonderful."
• "If women always wore hats in public, all the time..."
• "What are men in these cultures trying to look at when the women walk by?"