The Sponge

Season 7, Episode 9 — 69 scenes

• "Is it from the endless hours of reading and studying and researching..."
• "It's a corrective device. If you see someone with a hearing aid..."
• "Yeah, well, if I didn't do something, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
• "Yeah, that girl I was gonna call for a date, she was unlisted..."
• "Elaine, you should admire me. I'm aspiring to date a giving person."
• "-You're buying a speedboat? -See, we're already off the subject..."
• "No, I think birth control should be discussed in an open forum."
• "Louis Rukeyser."
• "I don't remember his name. I think it began with a W, maybe a Q."
• "Why? He's a 31. I saw the tag on the back."
• "Well, this is the Jerry Seinfeld that only I know."
• "This is totally different. That was my secret. This is Jerry's secret."
• "If I play it by your rule, no one will ever confide in me again."
• "-What's the matter? -I had a fight with Susan."
• "-So, what are you doing tonight? -I got a date with that girl Lena."
• "Monica, Jerry got Lena's unlisted number off of an AIDS Walk list."
• "You met her a few weeks ago, but...?"
• "I'm gonna do a hard target search of every drug store, general store..."
• "Hey, women are really loyal to their birth-control methods."
• "What am I doing? I'm dating a woman who happens to be sponsoring..."
• "Do you have any Today Sponges?"
• "-I know they're off the market-- -Actually, we have a case left."
• "How many come in a case?"
• "-Did you say 20? -Yeah, 25 Sponges is just fine."
• "Hey, I have found the best-smelling detergent. Lena, smell my shirt."
• "So let me ask you something. These people eat soup three times a day?"
• "You know, I'm sure you can reach her. She's a poet, you know."
• "...but you cannot tell Susan."
• "...and you're right, I've never really been a couple, so if that's the rule..."
• "-Where am I gonna park? -No, don't park. I'll just sit in the car."
• "-Off the market? The Sponge? -So you gotta use something else."
• "I think I know where we can get one."
• "You see those two ladies I got showing? Do they look scared?"
• "Let's go! Let's go! Rack them up! Come on!"
• "Do you wanna go in the bedroom?"
• "-Hold on just a second. -Okay."
• "Elaine, it's me, George."
• "-Hey, sorry to bother you so late. -Yeah."
• "-Susan loves the Sponge. -Yeah, I'm sorry, George."
• "...and just between you and me, there's really no big surprises here..."
• "Hold that thought."
• "Jerry Seinfeld, he got a woman's number..."
• "You don't mind that I got your number off the AIDS Walk list?"
• "You're lucky you're walking out of here with a pair of pants on!"
• "I had to, Jerry. It's a couple rule. We have to tell each other everything."
• "If you were in the Mafia, would you tell her every time you killed someone?"
• "...about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that."
• "On the other hand...."
• "Before they went off the market. But now I've got to reevaluate..."
• "You know, you're nuts with these Sponges."
• "Hey! Hey, you, come back here! Come back here and put this on!"
• "The day that we got engaged, I said goodbye to the condom forever."
• "It's like Beat the Clock. There's a lot of pressure there."
• "-I just don't wear the ribbon. -Who do you think you are?"
• "Well, we've gone out several times. We obviously have a good rapport."
• "-The sink, the tub, everything clean? -Everything. It's spotless."
• "Hey, look at this. I just got a citation in the mail for my work with shut-ins."
• "Hey, Jerry, can you get me a towel out of my bedroom closet?"
• "Oh, my God. Look what's going on here."
• "What is it, Jerry? You can tell me anything."
• "...to a 31 on all my jeans."
• "I can't get a good grip. You gotta do it like a bag of chips."
• "This is America. I don't have to wear anything I don't want to!"
• "It's probably so the woman has one last chance to change her mind."
• "-Everything's finished here. -I told him he'd never make it."
• "Up all night playing poker."
• "Hey, where's your AIDS ribbon?"
• "-Good morning. -Good morning."
• "I wish I could help you, but I can't afford two of them."