The Airport

Season 4, Episode 12 — 66 scenes

• "Everything on planes is tiny. Tiny food, tiny liquor bottles, tiny pillows..."
• "There'll be a man in a tight suit. He'll tell you you have little time..."
• "-You're wearing that heavy jacket. -Fine, I'll take it off. Grab the wheel."
• "Them giving me an extra ticket. You get a trip to St. Louis. I did my gig."
• "...so I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't touch the awning."
• "So I told him if he picks us up at the airport, he wouldn't have to pay me."
• "-You're giving him $10? -Well, we got three bags."
• "-Depends on the person and the bag. -How about people like us?"
• "-Five dollars a bag? I don't think so. -Look, you asked, I told you."
• "Because a girl runs like a girl, with the little steps and the arms flailing ..."
• "The price is the same because your flight was canceled."
• "The plane crashes, everybody in first class is gonna die anyway."
• "Yeah, I'm sure you'll live."
• "Oh, you're in here, sir. Welcome aboard."
• "Excuse me, Miss. I think you're sitting in my seat."
• "I never check my bags. Can't stand that waiting in the baggage area."
• "Excuse me. I think you're in my seat."
• "What made you think you could touch that awning?"
• "...pick up their bags, and be walking out of the terminal as we roll up."
• "You know what the traffic will be like? This is a suicide mission!"
• "-Yeah. You know how much duty is? -No, I don't know how much duty is."
• "And I say, "I thought this was an ad for shoes.""
• "Good thing they gave you that washcloth to cover yourself up."
• "How does it look on your side?"
• "Is it worth it not to wake this man up to damage a major organ?"
• "Look at you. You run like a girl. Come on. Run like a man. Lift your knees."
• "No, there it is. Right there, 133. And it's canceled."
• "There's supposed to be a blurb about Jerry. I think he mentioned my name."
• "You don't understand. There's a blurb about me in this."
• "You know what I would do to you if I wasn't in these shackles?"
• "They're scheduled to land in half an hour at La Guardia."
• "Excuse me. I've gotta go to the bathroom."
• "Would you move your seat up, please?"
• "Would you care for some slippers?"
• "Why, it's a perfect fit. You must be Cinderella."
• "One month, he asked me to loan him his share of the rent, 240 bucks."
• "I tried to find him. I went to his girlfriend's house, even his family."
• "We must go forward. Not back."
• "...we've been instructed by the tower to reroute and land at JFK."
• "We apologize for any inconvenience."
• "Let's go. Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee."
• "...a poached Dover sole in a delicate white-wine sauce with a hint of saffron."
• "I'm right there. You just passed it. I'm sitting next to that guy."
• "I'm not giving you my card unless you tell me what it's for."
• "I'll get my money, get off the plane, turn your ticket in for a refund."
• "You're returning it anyway, what's the difference?"
• "I'm sorry to make you do this, but I got stuck in the aisle."
• "He asked me. But you were gone so long, I thought you switched seats."
• "-Then why didn't you take it? -I ordered it six weeks ago. I forgot."
• "You see? That enables you to control your fudge distribution..."
• "Look. I did good. I got supersavers. Come on."
• "-Do you know how much this'll cost? -I'll tell you what."
• "-Listen, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. -Okay, okay."
• "-Eighteenth Street? -I don't know what you're talking about."
• "Sorry. I'm sorry."
• "What? Oh, no, nothing for me, thank you. I'm fine."
• "No. Please don't send me back there. I'll do anything. It's so nice up here."
• "You're trying to relax on the plane, and this is what you have to put up with."
• "The problem is that curtain is no security."
• "Come on. Let go of me. I'm telling you, I didn't do anything wrong."
• "Where are they already? I don't see them anywhere."
• "That was the worst flight I've ever been on in my entire life."
• "-You guys ready? -Yeah."
• "That's why they call it "standby." You end up standing there going, "Bye."
• "It was her first day on the job. So they didn't have a uniform for her yet."
• "So why don't you sit down? I'm about to bring her in.""