The Tape

Season 3, Episode 8 — 69 scenes

• "...is really quite amazing. Hair on your shower soap yesterday..."
• "...with organs. Is it possible that a head could reject..."
• "...on the compressor because you've got some discoloration."
• "You know, how, like, the big toe is, like, the captain of the toes."
• "-Hair? -The Chinese have done it, my friend."
• "-Discovered the cure for baldness. -Did you see that last night?"
• "You. You should have watched that report on CNN last night."
• "This woman's talking to me on my tape recorder..."
• "-Who is this woman? -I don't know. I have no idea."
• "-Where was the tape recorder? -Back of the room, on the ledge."
• "If it was real, they'd never let it out of the country."
• "-Oh, I thought you meant that-- -No, I meant the bald cure."
• "This woman drove us out of our minds."
• "...I want to slide my tongue around you like a snake."
• "-How did you--? -I stopped in the club to see him."
• "Now listen, promise me you won't tell him."
• "Some bald thing, a bald thing. I don't know. It's nothing."
• "So listen. What about this girl on your tape recorder?"
• "What do you think an enraptured female fan of mine might say?"
• "-Unless I can shower at your place. -Sure."
• "Why would a woman do that and then leave no way to get in touch with her?"
• "-Why are you doing this? -Why do I do anything?"
• "Well, we're talking with Elaine Benes..."
• "Couple of guys I knew in the Coast Guard told me about her."
• "In this scene, my co-star, who's right over here...."
• "So, Elaine, in your movies, is the sex real, or is it simulated?"
• "I'm on with Beijing at the hair restoration clinic."
• "They've got a billion people over there. He found a relative."
• "They say you grow hair. Look like Stalin."
• "Get a money order from the Bank of China."
• "So, what are you doing? You're-- You're going in."
• "Yeah, no. There's-- There's nothing."
• "That thing you said about the sex not being simulated...."
• "So I'll speak to you through Jerry and everything."
• "Did she think she was gonna leave this incredibly erotic message..."
• "-It's my cockney accent. -No, no. That's no good."
• "That's the worst cockney accent I ever heard in my life."
• "Wait, wait. Let's videotape your head for the before picture."
• "Happy camper. Yeah, I don't hear that expression enough."
• "What about the jacket? He take it with him?"
• "Are you gonna walk around like that?"
• "How long are you supposed to leave it on for?"
• "So I guess you figure you're in for a pretty wild night."
• "What do you mean? She heard me say hello. Did she say hello back?"
• "-Where are you going? -Nowhere, nowhere. I'll be right out."
• "...and I rolled over, and I cut her ankle with my big toe."
• "-What happened? You took it off? -Yeah. That was enough."
• "That was Elaine. She changed her mind. She's not coming over."
• "-Hello? -Hello, is this Alisha?"
• "This woman, she said the filthiest things I ever heard in my life."
• "I know how to handle these psychotics."
• "-What are you doing here now? -I have to talk to you."
• "He'll be over there for a half-hour. He gets lost over there."
• "This is the tape that we made earlier."
• "Kramer, I would like to talk to George for a minute, please."
• "-So how can you promise her? -Because she asked me to."
• "Yeah. She made me promise not to tell. It was supposed to be a joke."
• "Don't tell her I told you! She'll kill me!"
• "-What's the matter? -I got a pain in my side..."
• "I was the one who talked into your tape recorder."
• "Okay, come here. Come here. Take a look at this."
• "Ever since I found out that you left the message on Jerry's tape recorder--"
• "-That was you? -It was a joke."
• "Elaine, I can't believe that that is you."
• "-It's early. -We'll order Chinese."
• "Give me the tape. Give me the tape."
• "No matter what a woman says, if it's in that breathy voice, you know...."
• "The stewardess could lean over and whisper in my ear:"
• "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"