The Wig Master

Season 7, Episode 19 — 89 scenes

• ""Well, do I have my bullets? Do I have my bobby pins?""
• "powdering a thatch of horsehair on his head, going,"
• "The Joseph Abboud crested blazer is the finest."
• "Huh, then they'll match my sneakers."
• "It looks fabulous on you. Shall I wrap it up?"
• "Really, I... I'll be back."
• "I told him I wanted to see what someone else thought."
• "Why do you wanna go back there if you don't want the coat?"
• "But if you go back with me, then I'm not."
• "of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."
• "I gotta drop my car off at the new lot."
• "Yeah, you get this cool T-shirt when you sign up."
• "Well, I'm in the biz. I, uh... I work for J. Peterman."
• "Elaine, what about the crest? What do you think of the crest here?"
• "I'll need you to write down your phone number on the check for me."
• "What about that guy asking you out right in front of me?"
• "You're there approving new clothes."
• "I am getting so much work done."
• "I already asked him that. He said, "Good. Good day.""
• "and I forgot to take my apartment key off the ring."
• "Now someone's gotta drive you every time you need your car?"
• "Listen, can you take me over to Jiffy Park?"
• "The wig master said you could stop by the theater tonight,"
• "Now the volume knob fell off."
• "How do you like working there at The, uh, Andover Shop?"
• "'Cause I can get you a, um, considerable discount."
• "just have to do something about that."
• "Would you like to buy a rose for your wife?"
• "How do you know she's not my wife?"
• "you gotta expect things are gonna stick to your foot."
• "I won't be able to get into my apartment."
• "Take that pink Cadillac Eldorado over there."
• "All I know is he promised me a discount on that dress."
• "this guy's gonna dangle that dress in front of you"
• "like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule."
• "WIG MASTER: Well, that's the grand tour, uh, but..."
• "Excuse me. Would... Would you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
• "are...doing business here at the Jiffy Park?"
• "Anyway, see, the thing is, I found a condom in my car."
• "Well, I hope that you're telling me the truth."
• "because, you know, if there's any doubt in your mind..."
• "We have to deal with the doubt, Susan."
• "No, no, no. We sold out. We've had to order some more."
• "Well, I'm working over at The Andover Shop, actually."
• "So you getting him a discount too?"
• "on that jacket with the crest that nobody seems to like."
• "Yeah, well, you know, I don't argue with the body, Jerry."
• "I'm letting you stay here. You're wearing my bathrobe."
• "Don't even know if I'm gonna sleep."
• "Kramer, there's no way you're sleeping with me."
• "I had to write about it for the catalog."
• "You can have it. I don't need it anymore."
• "Because he told a man he'd give him a discount too."
• "that you're working him for the discount."
• "will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts."
• "we need to get to bed."
• "This patio furniture's on sale."
• "You got hookers turning tricks in my car. How's that for starters?"
• "Because I don't remember reading that clause either."
• "and let me get the hell out of here."
• "What are you talking about? I want my car."
• "People are supposed to be able to get their cars!"
• "Uh, excuse me, I'd like to return this jacket."
• "That's right. I don't care for the salesman that sold it to me."
• "What's the difference what the reason is?"
• "We can't return an item based purely on spite."
• "Well, you already said spite, so..."
• "Oh, you're staying with my friend George."
• "Right, George. I get the feeling he doesn't want me there."
• "Ever thought about selling it? It would make a brilliant wig."
• "Yeah, but you have to be careful. It's my only backup."
• "Well, looks like it's just you and me, cowboy."
• "Oh, that's nice."
• "So do you have any idea when the Nicole Millers are coming in?"
• "How can you love a guy like that? He's a mess."
• "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."
• "Have you been on the slide at Club USA? It's...intense."
• "I don't know. I just didn't think you were."
• "Uh, do you know when the Nicole Millers are"
• "We aren't expecting any Nicole Millers. In fact,"
• "Just tell him he doesn't have to be in tomorrow until 11."
• "JERRY: They make wigs out of human hair?"
• "(WIND WHISTLING)"
• "(FUNKY DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)"
• "* Break it down"
• "Oh, sweet Maria."
• "Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going?"
• "Cool it. Cool it, lady. Cool it. (SIREN WAILS)"
• "MAN (OVER SPEAKERS): Okay, big daddy, take the hat off."