The Highlights Of 100

Season 6, Episode 14 — 126 scenes

• "That's a lot. During the course of which George, Elaine, Kramer and I..."
• "All right, maybe even a death or two."
• "...here's some highlights from what's happened so far."
• "You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person..."
• "No, I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea."
• "-You gotta have a story. -Who says you gotta have a story?"
• "Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling?"
• "...have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office."
• "...when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon...."
• "I have lost my fiancé, the poor baby."
• "So I grab him by the collar, take him out of the seat..."
• "Then I managed to open the door and kicked him out the door..."
• "You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds."
• "You got the A..."
• "I come home and find my son treating his body..."
• "Then the bar code reader breaks, and it's Publishers Clearing House day!"
• "-I still don't know what the idea is. -It's about nothing."
• "Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here."
• "Oh, that's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?"
• "Okay, thank you very much. Thank you. Gee, boy."
• "You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt..."
• "I didn't know what she was talking about. I couldn't hear her."
• "-I know why we have reservations. -I don't think you do."
• "And that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding."
• "I think I can sum up the show for you with one word:"
• "-I got up and came to work. -There's a show. That's a show."
• "-Well, why am I watching it? -Because it's on TV."
• "-What about the body? -Good body. Nice body."
• "-What about personality? -Good personality."
• "Well, he's got a lot of character in his face."
• "He is so powerful. He can lift 100 pounds right up over his head."
• ""Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.""
• "If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out?"
• "-I'd like to be able to get it out. -I think you'll get it out."
• "The alarm didn't go off. You're gonna miss the plane, it's 9:15."
• "It takes 45 minutes to get there. That only leaves me five minutes..."
• "-...to get to the plane. -Shut up and pack!"
• "I invented "it's not you, it's me." Nobody tells me it's them, not me."
• "And I plan on rounding second tonight at around 11:00."
• "I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do."
• "It rhymes with a female body part."
• "I can't believe you sent a woman into the sauna to do that?"
• "...we're in there for a while, then we come back out here."
• "-It's moronic. -Absurd."
• "...and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would really be bad."
• "...to avoid the things that cause the little problems."
• "-Now, here's another little rule. -Yeah."
• "But sometimes when people get involved with that..."
• "Okay, okay, rule number two: Spending the night is optional."
• "-Oxygen. I need some oxygen. -I thought you'd like that."
• "I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandelay Industries..."
• "-Right here in this little apartment? -And what do I say about you?"
• "This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza?"
• "...as highly acclaimed, had it been published under it's original title..."
• "If I see her, what do I say I'm doing here?"
• "We'll make our choice in a few days and we'll let you know."
• "The beauty of my book is, if you don't have a coffee table..."
• "No problem, no problem."
• "And you want to be my latex salesman."
• "Either you're born with humor, or you're not. It's not gonna change."
• "...not be affected by the yellow sun of the Earth?"
• "From now on, when you take a chip just take one dip and end it."
• "-Why does that surprise you? -Well, it's a very popular drink."
• "I was talking to this guy, and I just happened to throw..."
• "...she grabbed it before the guy noticed, so, I mean..."
• "We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right-field stands..."
• "As he passes us, Newman turns and says, "Nice game, pretty boy.""
• "Then I turned, and the spit ricocheted off him, and it hit me."
• "Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict..."
• "...off the temple, striking Newman between the third and the forth rib."
• "...makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh."
• "It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough."
• "Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal."
• "But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella."
• "Don't insult me, my friend. Remember who you're talking to."
• "Not good-looking. Jerry, look at me. Look at my face."
• "-Heard. It was a joke. -Look, you wanna have sex right now?"
• "Hey, come on. Let's go. I thought we were gonna take a steam."
• "I guess after that many beers, he's probably a little groggy anyway."
• "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?"
• "Can't you see what's happened?"
• "Nothing's every worked out for me with tuna on toast."
• "Salmon's the opposite of tuna because salmon swim..."
• "-...and going right up to them. -Yeah, I should do the opposite."
• "I used to sit here and do nothing and regret it for the rest of the day."
• "-...you were looking in my direction. -Oh, yes, I was."
• "You can't believe her. She's one of these low-talkers."
• "You sure? You can examine the artwork up close."
• "So you're still master of your domain."
• "-What if she discusses it with Jane? -Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane."
• "Isn't it common knowledge?"
• "Like when a man goes swimming, afterwards...."
• "Like a frightened turtle."
• "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
• "The script. Now, I've read this thing three times."
• "Would you like a Pepto-Bismol? I keep them in my wallet."
• "The air conditioner!"
• "Caught you? Doing what?"
• "My mother had a Glamour magazine. I started leafing through it."
• "So she fell, and then she starts screaming, "My back, my back!""
• "Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple days."
• "-You think you could? -I could hold out longer than you."
• "It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man. We have to do it."
• "That is such baloney. I shave my legs."
• "I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system."
• "All right. Come on."
• "We have sacrificed everything, all for the sake of our little..."
• "-Excuse me. -Oh, here."
• "You're as pretty as any of them. Just need a nose job."
• "In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up."
• "-So, what's wrong with that? -Nothing, nothing at all."
• "I just realized, you never gave me back the change from the tolls."
• "Who leaves a country packed with ponies to go to a non-pony country?"
• "Now we'll open the peritoneal cavity..."
• "Could you get--?"
• "-Just take one. -No. Stop-- Kramer, stop it."
• "-Oh, Chunkys. -Chocolate babka."
• "It's chocolate, it's peppermint. It's delicious."
• "The sea was angry that day, my friends."
• "Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
• "From where I was standing, I could see into the eye of the great fish."
• "...tossed me like a cork, and I found myself on top of him..."
• "...felt around, and pulled out the obstruction."
• "We go into NBC, tell them we got an idea for a show about nothing."
• "-Should we tell him we're leaving? -What for? Let's just get out of here."
• "Seinfeld, four!"