The Secretary

Season 6, Episode 9 — 69 scenes

• "Men want women with shaved legs, shaved armpits, plucked eyebrows."
• "I'm sure there's a moose looking at that going, "Yeah. That looks good."
• "And now someone's gonna be taking messages for me."
• "-...and my mother's fur for storage. -What are you doing with it?"
• "She keeps it with me for when she comes up from Florida."
• "I'm completely well-versed in all the IBM and Macintosh programs."
• "I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra."
• "So you're saying, store, hotsy-totsy, Home, hotsy-notsy."
• "I can't tell you how proud I am of myself for going with Ada."
• "They would've gone for the dish and the sure-fire sexual harassment suit."
• "And your arms look like something hanging in a kosher deli."
• "...said I looked like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal."
• "I never heard of a "semi" tractor-trailer."
• "They make you look, like, 10 pounds lighter."
• "-Moisturizer? That's girl stuff. -No. Look, I'll tell you what."
• "-Well, we could-- -Yeah, we'll get to know each other."
• "Okay. Now, I projected those figures for you regarding the switch..."
• "It's like I'm-- I'm thinking of something..."
• "Do you know what I'm..."
• "It's definitely doable."
• "I can't believe they made the wife the killer."
• "She's giving me her telephone number. Uma, Jerry. Uma."
• "It looked just like the jacket I brought in to be dry-cleaned."
• "...would be to undo the jacket then go around the back of the shirt."
• "Here. I wanna show you something."
• "So you're so grateful to have sex, you'll shout out anything..."
• "Yeah. Well, the only thing I can do is to go to George Steinbrenner..."
• "...and tell him he has to give her a raise."
• "George, I think Willie the dry cleaner's been wearing my clothes."
• "Well, we're more than happy to exchange it for something else."
• "-I'll bring it to your dressing room. -Okay. Thanks so much."
• "I'm looking for a new suit, but I can't find anything I like."
• "-Forty-two. -Forty-two? That's what I am now."
• "-Follow me into the dressing room. -You'll throw the shirt in?"
• "I just wanna say you're doing great on that canola-oil stuff."
• "I had a bout of that myself one time, knocked me right on my ass."
• "You know, I was just thinking that she could really use a raise."
• "At this place? It would destroy my profit margin."
• "Seen any good 9:30 shows at the Paragon, Willie?"
• "...we understand each other, I'll take my business elsewhere."
• "-I want my mother's fur coat back too. -Jerry, come on."
• "You mean to tell me that you don't have a ticket for the coat?"
• "You can't get anything without a number."
• "Yeah. It looks good here, but what does that mean?"
• "I said that you deserved a raise, and if you didn't get it..."
• "Oh, I know, but 25,000."
• "-Oh, I tell you, Mr. Steinbrenner-- -You're making more than I am."
• "Excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find women's moisturizer lotions?"
• "Excuse me, miss. Is everything okay in there?"
• "I need that ticket stub back so I can get my mother's fur coat out."
• "-Where are your clothes? -I told you, I sold them to Bania."
• "So if you could show me something else."
• "Well, I suppose that salt stain came from all the snow in the store."
• "-Suit's ruined. -You're not getting any money back."
• "I'm not giving him $300 now for a suit with moisturizer cream all over it."
• "...but I need a dry-cleaning ticket that's in the pocket of those pants."
• "But, Mr. Steinbrenner, how can I be expected to perform my job properly..."
• "...knowing that my subordinate is making more money than I am?"
• "You know, I like it when they have a little cream inside. It's a surprise."
• "Here. You don't know what this is costing me."
• "The ticket's no good. The numbers are all smudged out."
• "Hey, isn't that my mother's fur coat?"
• "-You out of your mind? -Are you crazy, taking my coat?"
• "What, do you think the dry cleaners is your personal closet?"
• "I told you Mendy's had the best pea soup. The best, Jerry. The best."
• "If we go someplace else, it would be different, but maybe not as good."
• "I got her number off that ticket before it was smudged."
• "I don't wanna know about the specials, I'm sick of the specials, I hate them."
• "...with a white-wine intravenous."