The Opera

Season 4, Episode 9 — 65 scenes

• "To me, a wedding is the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride..."
• "That's why the wedding vow isn't, "Do you take Bill Simpson?""
• "I know you bad-mouthed me to the execs at NBC."
• "Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you."
• "You don't understand. That's the way they talk in Italy."
• "-So why don't they talk like that now? -It's too hard to keep up."
• "Come on. It's opening night. Black-tie, Pagliacci. The great clown."
• "-No, I don't have them on me. -What? That's why I came over here."
• "I was gonna surprise Joey with them. You got an extra one, right?"
• "He's-- He's happy. He's well-adjusted."
• "To surprise Joey. I've never been to his place."
• "It could be from that blond."
• "I have a hair on my tongue."
• "He's supposed to be on medication. He told me he was on medication."
• "He thinks I ruined some deal at NBC. I don't know anything about it."
• "I think there's been a huge, colossal misunderstanding."
• "I know. I like to encourage intruders."
• "Coming out of your office, your apartment."
• "I develop them myself in my darkroom."
• "-Who am I supposed to be? -That's a good question."
• "Were you able to get those Pagliacci opera tickets from your friend?"
• "I left something on. The gas, the lights, the water in the tub."
• "But if it's good to be a clown, then I would have to rethink the whole thing."
• "See? Now that's terrible. That is-- That's not a nice thing to do at all."
• "What if it was the president of the U.S.? I bet you'd investigate."
• "-Who is it? -It's George."
• "-You're locking the door now? -Yeah."
• "When I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding."
• "They were just standing. They were just frozen. People--"
• "She and I go to dinner, she doesn't even reach for the check."
• "Why are you locking the door now?"
• "-You said people dress up for opera. -Well, people do. I don't."
• "All right. I'll wear this. It's bad enough I gotta go to the opera..."
• "...and Elaine's friend isn't going. -Fantastic. We'll scalp the tickets."
• "-All right, yeah. -Isn't scalping illegal?"
• "They know we like cherry. Start with cherry. Then come out with regular."
• "All right, you want it, take it, but don't try and tell me it's yours."
• "You think I care about money. That's how much I care about money."
• "I kind of like this opera crowd. I feel tough."
• "-Nice face, clown. -Make me laugh, clown."
• "Come on, check it out. He laughs, he cries, he sings. Pagliacci."
• "-Look, let me handle this. -That's $500. That's a great deal."
• "This is not a Metallica concert. It's an opera, all right?"
• "Hey, look. There's Bobby Leighton's father-in-law. Mr. Reichman."
• "I've been out with him three times. I should know the man's name."
• "-...who's trying to kill me? -Why didn't you tell me his name?"
• "Give me $250. I got people waiting for me. I gotta get the hell out of here."
• "Harold, don't. Harold, be careful of your hair transplant!"
• "I'm not his girlfriend. We dated for a while but things didn't work out."
• "...it seems to me, would be that you're constantly referred to as a clown."
• "If you think about it, a clown, if there isn't a circus around them..."
• "The tragic clown. Pagliacci...."
• "-Well, when I was a kid. -Did you like it?"
• "Are you still scared of clowns?"
• "Overture, curtains, lights This is it, we'll hit the heights"
• "All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."
• "So what? They don't have another plane? She couldn't take a bus?"
• "We get to go to the opera-- Get out of here-- Together."
• "You don't understand. Someone's after us, a crazy clown."
• "-We thought he was with you. -Come on. He's on his own."
• "-Who's she playing? -She's playing Pagliacci's wife, Nedda."
• "Excuse me. Excuse me."
• "-How much did you pay for that ticket? -One seventy-five."
• "The women have the breastplates, the bullet hats, the horns coming out."
• "Think about optometry. Maybe that's more your thing."