The Junk Mail

Season 9, Episode 5 — 76 scenes

• "-Chinese food. -There's my Chinese food."
• "-Couldn't get Kramer's blood out of it? -No. The engine clotted."
• "Whitey Fisk, the guy who snuck you into Last Tango in Paris."
• "So you never saw Last Tango in Paris?"
• "No. I've been saving them up here in your apartment."
• "Wasn't Fragile Frankie the one that used to run to the woods..."
• "-...every time he got upset? -That's him."
• "Seriously, is this the best okra you've ever had or what?"
• "I'm gonna be late. I'll see you later."
• "-Let me put your father on the phone. -Ma."
• "Listen, I was at Fortunoff's the other day and you know what..."
• "Sorry, George, our Chinese food just came. Talk to you later."
• "Hey, you like sending out catalogs? How do you like getting them back?"
• "Well, there's one way to check. Where there's Chinese food..."
• "You and Puddy and this new guy in a big pot of love stew."
• "...so I'm gonna attack this problem at the choke point."
• "-Jerry. -Hey, Frankie."
• "Don't you remember, we always talked about how cool it would be..."
• "...he'd run into the woods, dig a hole, and sit in it."
• "-What? Where are you going? -We have a catered affair."
• "George is getting suspicious."
• "Elaine, I'm sorry I'm late."
• "-Can I use your phone? -Sure."
• "Puddy? It's Elaine. We're through."
• "What if I decided that it's silly to have a van because, you know..."
• "-You don't like the van? -No, no, no. It's just hypothetically."
• "I don't think I wanna meet the people that are in the market for a used van."
• "And oh, we gotta put down, "interesting trades considered.""
• "You know what? This is all your mail. They're putting it in my box now."
• "I'd like you to meet someone."
• "Oh, no, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out. Permanently."
• "E-mail, telephones, fax machines, FedEx, Telex, telegrams."
• "Yes, sir. I believe everything is all squared away."
• "What my wife is trying to say is, this is supposed to be our time."
• "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make love to your mother."
• "Oh, no, George. Please. What are you gonna do?"
• "One little wink. She'll freak out, tell my parents. They'll be all over me."
• "-That's pretty pathetic. -I know. They're not even related."
• "-I'm gonna get going. -Have fun at the family reunion."
• "It's not much, but it has a certain kind of quiet dignity."
• "-Oh, no. -Oh, yes."
• "Yeah, the van is still for sale. Sure, come on by."
• "-Some more merlot? -Yeah, thanks."
• "...but I just can't stop myself from wanting you."
• "Well, we could dance around it a little first."
• "-So how come you're selling it? -You know why I'm selling it. I hate it."
• "Okay, fine. What do I have to do to put you in this van today?"
• "No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt."
• "-You're not taking me back? -That's right."
• "Not anymore. He traded it to me for some Hollywood memorabilia."
• "I'm so stupid. Excuse-- I'm sorry."
• "She wants to keep it quiet. She thinks we have a real future together."
• "Oh, boy, it's fantastic. We were out in front of the post office today..."
• "Well, I thought we made a deal for Quinn's T-shirt?"
• "Yeah, he wants to move some of George's stuff into storage."
• "I didn't catch his name, but he went running into the park."
• "You may be walking, maybe on a crisp autumn day just like today..."
• "A mailman you know, maybe even trust, will offer to give you a lift."
• "No, you said a mailman I know, and you're a mailman I know."
• "Frankie, is that you?"
• "All right, George."
• "I'm just trying to get a reading on my dashboard compass."
• "So I told him, hit the road, I'm going back with Jack."
• "...it's a lot better than hanging out here with the nocturnal dirt people."
• "Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here."
• "Oh, my goodness, what have they done to you here?"
• "I mean, after all, I drove all the way up here from D.C. just to talk to you."
• "An army of men in wool pants, running through the neighborhood..."
• "...why I get a little irritated when somebody calls me away from my golf."
• "Now you want that mail, don't you, Mr. Kramer?"
• "Tell the world my story."
• "George Costanza. Frankie Merman."
• "You must be George's cousin."
• "Oh, you gotta sell this van."
• "What you saw in the van was a natural expression..."
• "-...your mother and I-- -Oh, make it stop."