The Checks

Season 8, Episode 7 — 75 scenes

• "You seen these commercials for indigestion drugs? Pepcid AC."
• "You know you're supposed to take these things before you get sick?"
• "It was okay. But move the "medication for the well" to the front..."
• "Most people go their whole lives without sitting in a Farbman."
• "Brett? Don't you think that would be great? Brett?"
• "He's not a jerk, Jer. He only works with Karl Farbman."
• "When I started out as a comedian, I sold umbrellas."
• "My friend here says that he invented that little twirl you're doing."
• "By the way, you're doing it too fast. You'll disorient the customers."
• "You can get them for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans."
• "Don't know why. There's a one-second clip of me..."
• "They run it all the time. I'm starting to get these royalty checks."
• "I gotta go home and open up the house for the carpet cleaners."
• "The carpet cleaning is just a means for them to get into your apartment."
• "I'm gonna ask this guy something."
• "...at the beginning of The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
• "Yeah, that's it. Because everybody laughs at Jerry here in America."
• "There's just one more thing."
• "You forgot to sign your check."
• "You sure there isn't anything else?"
• "-Unless you need a receipt. -I wish that was all I needed."
• "That's very funny. Elaine told me you're some kind of comedian."
• "Looks like what you really need is a decent desk for writing your skits."
• "You look like you could use a solid meal at a real restaurant."
• "Well, how could he not be? Living in that cramped little apartment..."
• "...that outdated furniture, so terribly un-Karl-Farbman-like."
• "What is it? Is there someone outside?"
• "For a minute, I thought it was that urban legend..."
• "Maybe they thought you looked too smart to be brainwashed."
• "And tonight, we're going dancing at the Rainbow Room."
• "They recognized Jerry from The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
• "...all you see is four morons sitting around an apartment..."
• "But in Japan, you're an exotic fruit, like an orange, which is rare there."
• "You went out with my butler? Who said you could go out with my butler?"
• "...the judge decreed that the man become Jerry's butler."
• "No. That's what makes it such a humorous situation."
• "I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr. Seinfeld is very funny to Americans."
• "Yes, from endorsing checks for The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
• "It's like I'm sitting there in the car, and he's out riding fences."
• "-"Witchy Woman"? -You know, "Witchy Woman.""
• "There was a slight monetary discrepancy regarding the bill."
• "I mean, Manhattan can be quite pricey, even with 50,000 yen."
• "Oh, by the way, tell Brett that his chest of drawers are a big hit."
• "-They feel right at home. -This has international incident..."
• "-Good night, Mr. Tanaka. -Good night."
• "It's a lovely little bureau-and-breakfast you're running."
• ""Witchy Woman" is okay for you, but I've already got a song."
• "Here you go. Snap, crackle and pop."
• "Good morning, Mr. Oh. I gotta make up the drawer."
• "Besides, we had some good times. Remember Tropical Storm Renee?"
• "Oh, yeah, sure. But where were you during the poncho craze of '84?"
• "Special price for a real foul-weather friend."
• "Kramer, it's-- It's raining. They got the tarp on the field."
• "Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, you guys just watch the tape..."
• "What kind of a snobby, stuck-up cult is this?"
• "-Sure things will pick up for you. -No, it's not that. It's...."
• "Brett said you ran away from him as if he were the boogity man?"
• "I showed the pilot to Kramer's Japanese friends. They loved it!"
• "If they make you an offer, whatever it is, just take it."
• "Do you think she liked me?"
• "Get a good night's sleep, all right, fellas? Big day tomorrow."
• "-The meeting starts in 10 minutes. -Well, I set their alarm."
• "...or I don't have a focus group to sell the pilot."
• "All right, all right. I'll wake them up."
• "The steam from the hot tub must have warped the wood."
• "Well, I promise you, Jerry is not jealous of Kramer's cabinets."
• "Not the Farbman!"
• "So, gentlemen, we have a deal?"
• "Yes. To clean up the coffee stain left by Jerry Seinfeld."
• "Most of the world is carpeted, and one day, we will do the cleaning."
• "Mr. Wilhelm, you gotta listen to me."
• "My name is Tanya."
• "I didn't mean to hit you in the head with an axe."
• "-His pulse is fine. -Looks like a minor concussion."
• "Doctor, I think we're losing him."