The Doorman

Season 6, Episode 18 — 64 scenes

• "You would think if any group of people would not wanna demonstrate..."
• "The guys that clean your windshield at the traffic light with the dirty rag?"
• "Benes. There's no one here by that name."
• "I should just shut up and do my job opening the door for you."
• "Why do you think I wasn't reading the Wall Street page?"
• "...and tell their friends they saw a real New York mugging."
• "-All right, that's enough. -I'll tell you when it's enough."
• "Well, it's almost 6 now. Can't we just wait till he goes home?"
• "Well, I want it back. I want to listen to that cha-cha record."
• "All right, all right. Can we go out and eat?"
• "A party? Oh, no, that was just my stupid friend, Jerry."
• "-Grab those empty bottles for me. -I need to know what's in the mail."
• "-The new People. -Oh, who's on the cover?"
• "You? What are you doing here? You work at this building too?"
• "Look, I'm not going in your building. I really don't have to talk to you."
• "-What do you mean, breasts? -Big breasts."
• "It was like my own personal Crying Game."
• "Frank can't be too comfortable with those things clanging around."
• "-You mean, like a bra? -No, a bra is for ladies."
• "Our shirts, they're the same."
• "All right. Can we go to a later show so he's off his shift when I come by?"
• "All right. I gotta try and talk my mother into taking him off my hands."
• "I don't have a doorman in my building. I guess I'm not used to talking to them."
• "Open the door for people. If they don't live here, don't let them in."
• "Hey, hey, wait a second."
• "I've lived here for 20 years. Now, if you don't let me in..."
• "-You gotta sign for it. -Oh, right, right."
• "Hey, how about those Knicks, huh?"
• "Oh, thank you, Kramer. Put it over there."
• "Well, it's obvious. You're carrying a lot of extra baggage up there."
• "A bra is for ladies. Meet the Bro."
• "So is your father excited about coming home?"
• "-You know, what did she look like? -Well, you've seen pictures."
• "I was just wondering. The information could be relevant."
• "Somebody stole the couch out of the lobby."
• "Don't you find it odd that as soon as he leaves, a couch gets stolen?"
• "-No, I know. It's not helping. -All right. Well, just start again."
• "-I don't know if this is gonna work. -Stick with the story. We'll be fine."
• "It's our chance. What do you say? It'll be me, you and the Bro, bro."
• "-Why? What's wrong with Bro? -Bro is no good. Too ethnic."
• "Hey, George, what do you like better, the Bro or the Mansiere?"
• "I was just speaking to the doorman here about the couch robbery."
• "Well, the doorman certainly has a wild imagination, doesn't he?"
• "-They're saying I'm responsible? -There was nothing I could do."
• "I'm sure he's having a good laugh over this with his doorman buddies."
• "-The one with the Poppie stain? -Yeah, sure."
• "And to be perfectly frank, I've always felt I could use some support."
• "...you don't want her fumbling and struggling back there."
• "I still have to talk about this to Mr. De Granmont..."
• "...but would it be okay with you if I were to ask her out?"
• "-I'm not doing business with this guy. -Come on. Frank. Frank!"
• "-Didn't you tell him I was using it? -Oh, I pleaded with him."
• "You're not having any of your transvestite parties?"
• "As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover."
• "-We'll go out for dinner tonight. -I can't tonight. I'm busy."
• "But you can't stay here. There's no place to sleep."
• "-No, look, somebody gave it to me. -You're a thief. We have proof."
• "It's the first upper-body support undergarment..."
• "-It's a beautiful couch. -It's hardly been used."
• "The last time I got aggravated was in the restaurant..."
• "She started a big fight about abortion."
• "-It's you. -What?"
• "-No, Poppie, no! -No, Poppie!"
• "No, thanks, Dad."