The Cadillac

Season 7, Episode 14 — 130 scenes

• "...a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it."
• "...where, when they back out of the driveway..."
• ""Well, I'm old, and I'm coming back."
• "It's not good to talk about money. It can affect the friendship."
• "I didn't know you made that kind of money."
• "I was thinking of donating a large portion of it to charity."
• "To tell you the truth, I was thinking of buying my father a car."
• "...his whole life. He's never been able to afford it."
• "We met skiing that time. You're married to the eye guy."
• "Also ear, nose and throat."
• "I actually would have set you up with a friend of mine."
• "You'd be perfect for her. She loves quirky, funny guys."
• "-Who is she? -Marisa Tomei."
• "Why didn't you tell me Katy was friends with Marisa?"
• "-I just bought my father a Cadillac. -Really?"
• "-She's-- She's something, isn't she? -Oh, yeah."
• "-How does she know Marisa Tomei? -I don't know. I didn't ask."
• "But, apparently, this Marisa Tomei loves funny, quirky bald men."
• "If 50 years ago someone had fixed me up with Katharine Hepburn."
• "Something you can really put the lipstick on."
• "Excuse me, I'm with Plaza Cable. I'm sorry to bother you."
• "If you can't tell Susan about it, then there's something wrong."
• "They found out about it. Now they wanna come and take it out."
• "-I've never seen you like this. -You don't wanna get on my bad side."
• "Boy, she's beautiful, don't you think? I wish I looked like that."
• "I'm gonna think you like her more than you like me."
• "You know, your friend was talking about me and, you know...."
• "-...I think I'd like to do it. -What?"
• "I can't believe you're buying your father a car."
• "I just didn't think you were in this kind of, you know..."
• "Things seem a little more exciting when you're around."
• "The guy says he's gonna be home. I show up, and all I do is wait."
• ""Fixed up"? A cup of coffee. A cup of coffee is not a fix-up."
• "But this is Marisa Tomei, Elaine. An Oscar winner."
• "It's not cheating if there's no sex."
• "Would you make the call? Please, make the call."
• "-Eight fifty. -Oh, right."
• "...how are you getting to the airport? Do you need a ride, or...?"
• "-Maybe I'll let you pick me up. -Okay."
• "Well, could you tell her Elaine called?"
• "She's in the hospital. She has an arrhythmia."
• "Morty, what do you have to open this box for?"
• "-What the hell are you doing here? -I'm a good son."
• "Come on, come on."
• "-Well, what do you think? -Look at this."
• "I'm not letting him buy us a Cadillac. He hasn't got the money."
• "-Over my dead body. -What? Give me those. Give me--"
• "...than stand outside all morning waiting for you to show up?"
• "My seat's got a memory, in case somebody moves it."
• "-You bought it? -That's right. I bought it."
• "Believe me, I have ridden in a Cadillac hundreds of times."
• "...about me and Marisa, you know, the two of us getting together."
• "...you know, the two of us might take a meeting, as they say."
• "Is that right? Well, I have been having a little trouble with my call waiting."
• "Seems to me that the phone company would know that."
• "Hey, McNab! Chunnel's on HBO tonight!"
• "And right now, I, for one, do not think it's cost-feasible."
• "I know you a long time, Morty, but I cannot hold it in any longer."
• "Your son? Your son could never afford that car."
• "-I move for a full investigation. -I second."
• "You could put a fence around these condos and call it an insane asylum."
• "...for giving you his aisle seat at Freddy Roman's show."
• "No, he never heard you. I told you he didn't hear you."
• "Maybe we should have her over for coffee and explain our side of it."
• "Probably they think you're too good for them."
• "We've had some reports of power surges in your building."
• "What are you talking about?"
• "I guess I should just go introduce myself, huh?"
• "Like she would ever go out with a short, stocky, bald man."
• "Who would try and fix me up with Marisa Tomei?"
• "Have I told you how much I love you today?"
• "Why do they put the bar in the middle of the bed?"
• "I was thinking. I mean, I'm not really doing that much this weekend..."
• "Okay, George, I'm on the other line. I promise you, I'll get you her number."
• "-All right, I'll see you. -Jerr, Jerry?"
• "Yeah, sure. No, that's fantastic."
• "Usually I'm pacing all over the room. I write down things to say."
• "-What does that have to do with me? -I spend Saturday..."
• "-What is the difference? -Because if you ever see her..."
• "Why do I have to see you?"
• "Because I'm going to the dentist..."
• "Not a personal thing. We're just trying to come up with the best possible lie."
• "-That's what this is about. -Okay."
• "...with your boyfriend, and I am meeting you to discuss the situation."
• "-The dentist thing was not good. -Okay, all right."
• "-This is my boyfriend? -That's your boyfriend."
• "And this is causing a problem. Because why not do both?"
• "You know, I mean, you just know it all. And I am Miss Stupid, right?"
• "If this woman votes to impeach me, I'll be a laughingstock."
• "That's a lovely scarf you're wearing. Where did you get it?"
• "Oh, hi, Jerry. Mrs. Choate, this is my son, Jerry."
• "Yeah, I was visiting my daughter. And I'll never go back."
• "Oh, that's terrible. They stole a rye? Why would they steal a rye?"
• "So, Morty, what's this all about? What do you want?"
• "I don't know. She's having some problems with this guy she's seeing."
• "I'm having an affair with Elaine? If I was having an affair with Elaine..."
• "I would make up another person to tell you I would see..."
• "I'll get you! I'll get you, Kramer!"
• "Oh, right, let's go. Jerry, let's go. It's time to eat. We're going to dinner."
• "Can't we eat at a decent hour? I'll treat. Okay?"
• "But it's unheard of."
• "You're so right. I never thought of it like that."
• "It's hard to believe anyone could be so spontaneously funny."
• "...so bald and so quirky and funny...?"
• "I'm, you know, "engaged.""
• "-Hey, look, there's a spot right in front. -Always, Jerry. Always."
• "Where you gonna get a better meal?"
• "...you'll have plenty of time to drive around in your Cadillac."
• "All right, let's eat already."
• "-Have a seat. -Elaine, I have to ask you a question."
• "I mean, why would anyone wanna sleep--?"
• "Oh, because he said that he had to talk with you earlier about some..."
• "I'm sorry. I-- I feel like an idiot."
• "-Forget that we ever talked. -It is so forgotten."
• "Because Art and I were getting into this whole thing..."
• "Wait a minute. I thought that Art wanted to give up the exporting."
• "-Some corn. -And what does he export?"
• "-I'm sorry to bother you. -Oh, no, it's okay."
• "Come on, George, pick up."
• "...what does Art Vandelay import?"
• "...to consider a motion of impeachment of our president, Morty Seinfeld."
• "-Building B. -Against impeachment."
• "I can't believe you got that old bag."
• "My son never stole anything. He's a good boy."
• "Morty Seinfeld, you are officially dismissed as condo president."
• "What do you want from me, an apology?"
• "I see now how we made you feel when we made you sit home waiting."
• "...and if we can't make it, I'm gonna call you, tell you why."
• "I'm sorry, bub."
• "The bags are in the car. And I guess we'd better go."